The Bloom of the Mountain Cherry
by Queen
Summary: When feeling depressed, Ami begins to have some strange dreams. Who is this person appearing in them, and is she helping Ami, or haunting her? (complete) 1st in the KamiDreamweaver series
1. Prologue

Hello, minna! Ah, time for a new fic for Ami-chan! What strange things can I come up with for her this time? Well, read on….

As just about all my fics, this is manga based, though I don't think it makes a big difference here…just in case, I reference to something called a 'lemure' used by the Dead Moon Circus…in the manga, the Amazoness Quartet uses these to attack dreams. 

_Italics_ are Ami's thoughts. 

Sailormoon does not belong to me, but to Naoko-hime, who has fed all of our obsessive-compulsive habits towards anime. I make no claim on Sailormoon, though it would be cool if it were mine. I do, however, own Kami. (read on, and find out who that is…!) 

And as always, feel free to mail me at queen2126@hotmail.com

Ja ne!

-Queen

A few terms you might want to have:

_Miyako- Modern day Kyoto, capital of Japan in the Heian period, 11th century_

_Amida Buddha- Buddha of Paradise, where people could be reborn through their faith_

_Koto- 13 stringed instrument_

_Shoji- paper door_

_Waka- poem_

# Sakura- cherry blossom

_Monogatari- a telling, a story_

_Tatami- a mat made of rushes or straw_

_Murasaki- lavender_

_Furin- a windbell_

_Cicada- a noisy insect, associated with summer___

### The Bloom of the Mountain Cherry

_Prologue-_

And as she slept, she dreamed. 

And the visions of faces fell before her, painted onto the blossoms of the _sakura_ petals, of enemies of long past, of friends who she treasured. But these sights were not earthly, for they swirled and passed by her, and she could not touch them, as their beauty faded and wilted under her fingertips. There was sunlight, or perhaps moonlight, but from no source that one could see, coming from every space, ebbing into her vision, washing away the darkness, but blinding her even as she tried to grasp for some stability in this tiny enclosed world. 

There was a sound of laughter, and as it is in dreams, the world shifted, becoming a place it was not. The high sound of a vibrating string reached her ears, sounding in her mind to be beautiful and sweet. But the pitch grew, and there was the sound of breaking, a scream in horror, and then a face filled with tears, eyes milky and white. There was a roar of water. And then only the quiet, and the blinding brightness.

Eyes opened to the sun streaming in though her window, the girl who dreamed buried her face. 

_I'm a failure._


	2. Dreams, Made Beautiful by the Dreamer

The Bloom of the Mountain Cherry

_Chapter 1-Dreams, Made Beautiful by the Dreamer_

Why do we suffer so in the world? Just regard life as the short bloom of the mountain cherry.

-Murasaki Shikibu

There was the soft sound of books being set upon the desktop. "Ohayo, Usagi-chan," Ami whispered softly, looking at her forlorn friend. 

"Oh, hi, Ami-chan." Usagi looked at her arm, and Ami felt herself wince. 

"How's your wrist?"

"Better."

Bandaged, Usagi still had a wide bruise along the side of her face, the usually flawless skin mottled purple. Ami slid back her chair and set herself upon it, tucking her feet under. "Gomen nasai, Usagi-chan."

Usagi glanced at her. "It's not your fault, Ami-chan." Usagi mustered a smile, and after a moment, it became genuine. "It's Tokyo. There are earthquakes all the time! Don't feel bad."

"Oh, of course not." Ami fiddled with a pencil she took from her case. The classroom was slowly filling up. Ami kept her eyes on her desk, the feeling of sadness opening a hole in her heart. It seemed somewhat strange to her, coming in to school so much later than usual. But she couldn't face the morning gossip at Minako's locker.... Not with Usagi there, having everyone look at the broken wrist. Not with Minako fluttering about how awful it was, or Mako shaking her head in pity. So she had come late- to her at least. There were still a few minutes before first bell, and Ami knew that the only way Usagi had made it to class so early was Mamoru bringing her there in his car. 

_I should have been faster._

"Mizuno-san, will you stay a moment?"

Ami nodded her head as the class was dismissed. She noticed that Usagi paused a moment at the door, waiting to walk with her partly down to the next class. When Ami didn't meet her eyes, Usagi clutched her books to her chest, eyebrows pursed in worry as she turned her back. "I'll see you at lunch, Ami-chan!" Usagi tried to call, and got only a gentle nod in acknowledgment. 

From the podium, sensei asked, "Mizuno-san, is everything all right?" As she finished writing something, she looked up over her thick glasses in worry. "You seemed distracted today."

"Fine, sensei."

"Are you sure?" She set the pencil down. "I noticed you came in a bit later than usual this morning. Is everything well?"

"Yes, fine, really. I just...have a bit of a headache. It'll go away, I'm sure," Ami lied. The teacher wasn't fooled, but knew better than to press. 

"You're welcome to talk, if you need to."

"I'm fine, really."

She nodded, "All right. Go, Tsukino-san is probably waiting for you."

Ami flinched. 

Sensei frowned, "Did you and Tsukino-san have an argument?"

"No, sensei. Everything is fine. Really."

With a sigh, she took off her glasses, and looked levelly with Ami. "All right. But my door is open, you know that."

Ami nodded, and returned to her desk, gathering her things as new students began to wander in, talking and laughing. 

When Ami got out into the hallway, Usagi was standing there, pacing. 

"Usagi-chan, you should get to class."

"I had to wait. You look so worried!You shouldn't be moping around like this-"

"Usagi, go to class."

The blonde bit her lip as Ami trudged down the hallway, head down. Usagi hurried to catch up. "Ami-chan! Ami-chan! I-" Ami didn't look at her. Silenced by her friend's unresponsiveness, she accompanied her silently down the crowded hall, glancing at the narrow cameo of her friend's face. 

A boy with a large bookbag turned the corner, ramming into Usagi as he ran, sending her into a heap with a startled screech. "Move!" He snapped. "Take up the whole hallway!"

Usagi, sniffling, was trying not to cry as she scooped up her spilled papers. 

Rushing past, the boy felt a tug and a jerk on his backpack. Turning around to yell at whoever was grabbing him, he met with a frosty stare. "Perhaps it would be better," Ami said to him carefully, "if you taught us the proper way to walk. Obviously running around and insulting your classmates is far more proper."

The tide of students had begun to slow around them, some slowing to watch the small spectacle, others disappearing into their classes. "I don't know who you think you are, but-"

Ami stepped closer to him, glaring up into his face. Despite her lesser height, she stared him down, the ice freezing in her eyes. "Go to class, senpai. You're going to be late."

He backed away, straightening out his bag. After a moment, he fled. From the ground, Usagi watched Ami with a kind of fascination and fear. Something was wrong; her words sounded much like a threat. And for such bitter words to come out of the quiet, shy Mizuno Ami that Usagi knew, meant that something was wrong, and it was perhaps deeper than simply Usagi's broken wrist and black eye. 

Near to the cafeteria at lunchtime, Minako and Usagi were protesting, "Ami-chan, are you sure-"

"For the last time, I have homework, and I don't want to eat with you! I'm going to the computer lab." On her heel, Ami turned, heading towards the library. 

_Why can't they just leave me alone?_

__

__Hunger had left her, and she stared at the ham and swiss sandwich she had packed that morning. Just the right amount of mayonnaise too, just a touch too much. But it looked anything but appetizing._ I just want to go home. I just want to sleep. But even there, I am plagued with bad dreams...._

__Just slightly less than one sunset ago, she had felt much better. Laughing at Usagi's protests, she had dragged her down the street, heading to the public library. History was considered dull by Usagi, but with a weekend full of Ami's pushing, and Luna's nagging, Usagi had actually studied, and had gotten an unheard of eighty-six percent on her social studies quiz. How happy she had been! And with the test the following Friday, Ami decided she would help Usagi get just as good a grade on the test. 

The pencil flew over the paper before her, calculating trigonometry problems. Normally, the logic and the structured thought processes helped her to calm herself, but now she felt much as a wind-whipped lake, unable to move, but restless and churning nonetheless. 

_I should have been faster._

__The pencil snapped.

Just outside the library, a pair of men were hanging a new sign on the overhang. Banging away at the old roof, Ami laughed off Usagi's protests, and continued to coax her along. Then the world had become ripped apart, the foundations of the stable earth reminding them that even the most steady things can become dangerous and volatile. The sound that concrete makes when breaking filled Ami's ears, and then a loud crack. Turning her head, she saw a piece of the roof's eaving fall, the lump of stone dropping like a falcon to the ground, plummeting. Ami had only a moment to gasp, and then the moment was gone, and Usagi, a bare step behind her, was on the ground, staring as the quake ended. 

"It...hurts," were her disbelieving words, rather than the wailing that one would expect. Usagi was staring at her wrist, which was swelling rapidly, as was her face, coloring purple from her hard landing. It had been that calm, outside-herself speech that had struck Ami in fear. 

_I failed her. _

Wailing would have been expected, sobbing tears, those would have been expected. And to some degree, it would have let her know that everything was all right. But the quiet shock in her friend's eyes worried her in a way that no other could. How many times had she seen Usagi break down in tears? How many times had she seen her stand up to invincible fear, and somehow keep their lives going? 

_I couldn't even push her out of the way of a chunk of brick. If I can't even do that, then what right to I have to be a senshi? I'm supposed to fight, and I can't even move my feet when I need to. Who would ever trust me to protect them? _

__For the first time since she had become a soldier of water, Mizuno Ami felt like she was worthless. __

_ _

__The day ended at last, the school emptying. The spring was warming the air, and outside the school, those who had some athletic ability were practicing their sports, to the accompaniment of shouting and laughter. There were clouds in the sky, but only those far to the west heralded rain, this the most beautiful kind of weather, when the beauty is held at its peak, the end of it just within sight, but still far distant. 

Ami did not wait after school the way she always did, pausing by the doors, waiting for Usagi to come bounding out with her endless energy, Minako and Makoto in tow, laughing and talking casually as they finished the day. With the peace that had descended these last few weeks, it was easy to forget the battles. Normal, if only for awhile. Holding out hope that maybe that was the last time they would have to fight. 

It was an old tactic for those labeled 'smart.' Whip out the book, bury your nose in it, create the illusion that you are fascinated by the words on the page. 

_But how much of what I know is an illusion?_

__No one bothered her, of course. Reading was a private matter, and it would be rude to interrupt. She had put behind her those that would snatch the book from her hands, in the name of fun and friendship. 

_How much of who I am is an illusion?_

__Safely away, she rode the bus home, slumping in her seat, staring wearily out the window, watching the people rush by, busy on their errands and lives. 

It was satisfying, to slip the key into the lock of their apartment, turn it, and slip inside, shutting the door with a click. From the living room, she heard the newspaper rustle, and entering, found her mother, sitting on the sofa, reading, her glasses pushed to the bridge of her nose. "Hi, Mom."

Her mother looked up, smiling. "Hi, Ami-chan. Did you have a good day at school?"

"Fine. How was work?"

Dr. Mizuno shook her head with a weak smile. "Same old, same old. An accident, babies having babies, a broken leg. Any tests back?"

"No, test is Friday."

"Mm. What would you like for dinner?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm not that hungry. I packed a big lunch."

Ami's mother blinked, then glanced at the clock. "You're home earlier than usual. Didn't you go out with your friends?"

"No, I've got some studying."

Worry began to fill her mother's face. "Don't study too hard, Ami-chan. You need to get out once in awhile too."

"Don't worry," Ami kissed her mother on the cheek. "I'm fine. Really." Braving it out, Ami smiled. "Just some catching up to do. I wanted to finish my chapter in trig."

"All right. I'll fix something in a bit. I love working days for once," she sighed, then went back to her paper. 

Slipping without regret into her room, Ami felt better. _Safe at last, within walls of my own decoration. Nice, calm, dark blue water, like walking into an aquarium. Safe, and home, with my army of books lining the walls. _

Placing her books away neatly, Ami sat on her bed, and looked around. 

_Safe. And much like me. But how much of this did I put on display to enforce the idea that I was smart? I remember...when I was little....always on the outside, always looking in. They thought there was something wrong with me...no one could understand._

__And so she pulled out her texts, setting them into familiar places on her desk, placing them in their proper order, and sat at her chair, drawing out a fresh pencil. 

_Ignore the doubt. Just do your homework. _

Numbers fell neatly into place as she worked steadily, with single-minded precision and intent. The pencil scratched the paper, and she was glad for the rhythmic sound. It was simple, to work and work, and ignore the feelings that were beginning to swell up inside. 

_How much of who I am is the illusionary girl genius, and how much is me?_

__Dinner passed in silence, eating in her room as she worked. The senshi didn't call, and she was glad for it, somewhat worried that they would. She didn't want to be interrupted. Didn't want to face reality. But her methodical mind kept bringing it up. 

_Usagi is the leader._

__Insert pi.

_Minako is the second in command._

__Tap on the calculator.

_Makoto is the tough one. _

__Carry the nine....

_Rei is the strong one._

__Push the glasses up her nose. 

_I'm the weak one. _

__Slam the textbook shut and remove the glasses. 

Rubbing her fingers over her eyes, Ami buried her face in her palms, which were slightly damp with sweat. She wiped them on her skirt. 

_It's the same with the others. Chibi-Usa-chan is Usagi's heiress, and carries her own Imperium Crystal. Mamoru is to be King, always there, always reliable. Hotaru has a terrible power, and none would dare call her weak, physical strength aside. Setsuna is the Guardian of Time and Space. What she does is important to everyone. Haruka....Well, Haruka is Haruka. And Michiru...._

__Ami took in the time. The digital alarm on her nightstand read 10:30. 

_And Michiru...._

__Preparing for bed, Ami slipped on an oversized jersey, turning down the covers and switching on a lamp. The darkness of night had fallen, and no traces of light lingered on the western horizon. She washed her face, brushed her hair, whipping the brush through the thick, short blueness. It was practical, to keep it short. Facing herself in the mirror, she appraised her features. Round eyes, usually wide and smiling, looked worn. Brushed out, her hair fell flatly around her head, clinging to her face. 

_I don't even look like myself anymore. Older. Tired. _

__She set the brush down. 11:00. 

_And with a Sailor Neptune to be the senshi of water, of what use am I?_

"Good night, Mom," Ami called out. Her mother poked her head out of the bathroom, toothbrush in her mouth. 

"G'nigh, Am-han!" she called around the toothpaste. Ami smiled faintly and shut her door, leaning against it, breathing.

_None...._

__She opened the curtain that held back the night from her room. Stars glittered outside in the heaven, peeping through the cloud cover. And she wondered how many of those so far away harbored life, and how many other girls looked out their windows with sadness, wondering what other girls on other worlds thought. 

_Usagi-chan was right in saying that earthquakes happen all the time. I'm not foolish enough to think that the accident itself was my fault. No...this is many small things. Overall, a feeling of uselessness. What good am I as a senshi? I contribute some intelligence. That's all. Is it my dream to live at court with Usagi and the others in the future? I...I believe so. All the time, it seems more and more possible that it will truly happen. At first, I was so wrapped up in it...at last, I was someone important. Sailor Mercury. I was a senshi, and I was Sailor Mercury. I was something much more than just the girl genius everyone saw me as. Finally, I was worth something. Something real. Something important. Something special. I want to be a part of it. I want to watch the world grow peaceful, and expand again to the planets beyond Earth. I want to be there. I want to see it. I want to be a part of it. _

_But am I worthy of it?_

_ _

And the answer that her mind began to whisper to her was a definite, "_No._"

Shards of mirrored glass broke around her in a display of blooms, and they cut into the skin of her body, and yet they gave no pain to her, for this was a dream, and it was not real, and she knew it was not real. And so she did not try to fight it, but allowed it to happen, and the glass became _sakura_, twirling around her in a lazy whirlwind of brightness, which intensified as she watched. The light was surreal, and it filled her sight, blinding her to vision, and she closed her eyes as she tried to let the dream drift her away into oblivion. But the darkness of a sleep without dreams did not come. Instead, she felt the ground beneath her feet, and heard laughter in her ears.

"Come, come, you drift away on me too much! Is the _sakura_ that lovely, that you forget where you are?"

_Where is the darkness of sleep without dreams?_

__"We're almost to the river! Can't you hear the rushing waters?"

_What is this voice that laughs in my ears, as though I know it?_

__"Open your eyes, or I will begin to call you Sleepy!"

So she did as the voice bid her, and opened her eyes to see the world she stood in. It was bright, very bright, and the sunlight seemed to radiate out of every pore and fiber of the land, and the sounds of the trees brushing their leaves against each other was uncommonly loud and elegant. There was a loud sound.

_Cicadas?_

__"You look at the world as though a stranger here! Come, let us finish our walk." The girl took Ami's arm, and led her further along the path they walked upon. It was well worn, and the imprint of feet marked it as often used, though by few people, for the path was narrow and unpaved. 

_This is both dream and not....what is this place?_

__"How did I get here?"

The girl looked at her oddly, and smiled faintly, the movement tugging at her lips. "Does it matter what this place is, so long as it is here? Come on, there's shade down further."

Ami watched the girl, whose movements were so filled with grace that she seemed unnatural. Ami glanced at herself, then the girl. Ami herself was wearing her school uniform, feeling very odd in comparison to her companion, who was dressed far differently. She wore damask robes of _murasaki_, lavender, and several layers of it, deepening to a richly dark shade of purple by the bottom layer, or furthest cuff of sleeve. Her hair was ebony, but in the surreal sunlight, seemed to hint at shades of purple. It had been bound back in narrow loops at the top, leaving a great wealth to stream down her back. 

She turned and gestured for Ami to hurry up, and she settled herself and her package beneath the cool shade of a willow along the riverbank. 

"Are you a _kami?_"

The girl looked up at her, startled. "A _kami?_ Me?" She laughed lightly, and Ami recognized it as the same sound she had heard in her dream just moments earlier. "You never did give me a nickname. You may call me that if you wish. And..." She paused thoughtfully, looking at Ami. "And if I am to be Kami, then you will be... Kanashimi, for I believe that as of late, you have been drinking far too much sorrow. Come, sit, Kanashimi-chan."

Ami saw her eyes, which were a most extraordinary color, lavender and grey, like a clouded pearl, and still clear. Light passed oddly over them, and Ami looked to the sky, where the sun glowed silver rather than gold. Yet the clouds still obscured the brightness, and shadows passed over them, and Ami saw hers fanning around her at several angles. 

Unsure what else to do but follow what she knew to be a dream, Ami sat beside Kami, and was offered a brush and inkstone. "Here. It is such a lovely day. Perfect for _waka_, ne?" 

"Yes, perfect."

_Waka?_ _Yes, I've read those before, in school, for classes. A five line poem, and was a predecessor to_ _haiku_. 

Kami drew out some fine white paper, though some older marking scarred the back of it, signs of reuse. She placed it against a wickerboard, and began to paint letters onto the page. Ami took up her own bit of wickerboard, and pressed her brush deep in the ink.

Kami gasped in horror. Instantly, Ami began to look frantically around, searching out for some enemy. "Kanashimi-chan! You'll put far too much ink on that!" Was the exclamation, and Ami felt embarrassed, both for her assumption that there was an attack, and for obviously breaking some odd etiquette. "Unless, oh, gomen nasai, unless you planned on writing a sad poem? It's just that it's so lovely today, I find it difficult to write out something sad. So sorry."

"No, I...I don't know what I'm writing."

_I don't even know what I'm doing here...._

__But Kami did not seem to notice her hesitation, or even the fact that she wore clothing so very different to her own. In the eyes of Kami, Ami was perfectly normal, and Ami even wondered if Kami thought she was someone else. This 'Kanashimi' person, maybe. 

"Ah, there are days I am uninspired as well. I try to keep imaginative, yet sometimes my thoughts run dry. If only thought was as strong as the river, always continuing and changing." Kami looked at the expanse before them, which was rolling with a steady splashing. "Sometimes, when it rains, the river overflows, and this is all submerged," Kami stated, placing a hand on the ground. "Sometimes, when my thoughts dry up, I copy out the Lotus Sutra. It steadies me. Perhaps you should try."

_But don't know the Lotus Sutra....I don't know anything at all...._

She took up the bamboo brush regardless of this, and to her surprise, found the characters came to her hand without a thought. 

They spent much time this way, and Ami cast a glance to the shadows to tell the time. During all this they never moved. Her shadows remained gathered around her, even though the shadow about the tree moved with the silver sunlight. Kami's, though, stretched in a single long line forward, as through reaching for the river before them. __

__It was hours, Ami believed, but wasn't sure, that they sat there, copying out _waka_ and sutra. And she did feel better, without the rush of school, or the questioning of others looking over her shoulder. The steady sweep of the brush, up, down, and back and forth. 

"Don't overload the brush," Kami had warned. "Too much, and you waste ink and make your paper messy. Not enough, and it is faded, and it suggests that your mind was elsewhere, or that you do not care enough to be careful."

Ami appraised her work, strangely knowing that it was complete. She glanced at Kami's work over the sweep of her hair. 

# Yo no naka wonani nagekamashiyamazakurahana miru hodo nokokoro narisheba

_I don't...the words...the dialect...something is off...._

Kami noticed her interest. "Is everything all right, Kanashimi-chan?" 

"Your poem. I-"

Kami smiled and looked at her work. "I do love this poem. Is it not beautiful?"

Unsure of what to say, Ami agreed. 

There was the sound of a windchime ringing in the wind, and she heard Kami gasp. This time, Ami did not worry about any youma that may attack...this place was safe, surely. But it was this time that Kami seemed alarmed. "You must go! It is late! The storm is coming! We shouldn't get caught out in it."

"Storm?" Looking to the crystalline sky, Ami was confused. 

"Can't you hear the wind?" And Kami did seem to be caught in a whirlwind, her robes being caught up as she scurried to gather her things. "Can't you smell the rain?"

_No...not at all...._

__

__And then there was lightning in the sky, and it split down between them, and Ami found herself looking out the opened window from her bed, the covers clasped in her hands. There was rain sleeting down the pane of glass, and her heart pounded heavily in her chest. She scrambled for the phone, and typed in the first three numbers to call Rei. 

_Of any of us, she knows the most about dreams and kami...._

__But by the fourth digit, she stopped, and replaced the phone in its cradle. It was three in the morning; Rei wouldn't appreciate being woken up for a bad dream...and in fact, it wasn't even that bad. Other than the startlement at the end, Ami felt calm. She sat back on her bed, and breathed a few times. Thinking of something, she hurried to her desk, and scribbled down several words. Folding the paper, she tucked it in her bookbag, and then settled in for a sleep void of dreams.

All right. Good so far? I hope so….don't forget to review! How else will I know if you like this??? REVIEW! In the name of Mercury, I command it! 

Ja ne…

-Queen


	3. Dreams, Made Beautiful by the Dreamer pt...

_Dreams, Made Beautiful by the Dreamer…cont'd…._

If Ami had appeared distant the day before, she was just as distracted that day. The other Inners fretted over her silence. It was not so much that it was unusual for her to be quiet, but for her not to join in their laughter at jokes, or at least listen to their chatter. 

"Ami-chan," Makoto asked as she passed out homemade rice cakes, "would you like one?" She pressed the food forward, and after a moment's hesitation, Ami accepted it. 

"Arigatou, Mako-chan."

Makoto smiled as Ami began to nibble at it, watching her friends. 

"And there's a new senior," Minako was saying, "and he's actually really nice...."

To which Usagi bubbled: "Ah, Minako-chan! You need to ask him out!"

"I don't know...we're just freshmen.... Do you think he'd...."

And so lunch went much like this, as it usually did when there was peace. It did occur to the others that they should ask Ami how she was, but they believed she needed some space, and they were right. Usagi's black eye was beginning to heal; the edges of the bruise were fading to a sickly yellow, and eventually would return to the normal, pale tone of her skin. 

As for Ami, she fidgeted the whole day, anxious to get out of school. Not necessarily because of the sadness, and the desire to escape her friends, but because her mind had latched onto a small mystery, and she wished to unravel it. 

"Hi, Minako-chan," Ami greeted as she walked out of the building. 

"Hi, Ami-chan! You coming with us to the arcade today?" Minako's eyes were worried, but hopeful. Truthfully, Ami smiled, laughing slightly. 

"Gomen ne, I can't today." 

Minako began to protest, and then she spotted Makoto and Usagi walking out. "Usagi-chan! Mako-chan! Help me get Ami-chan to come with us!" She waved and shouted. Ami frowned, not liking to be pushed. Minako would try to gang the others up on her. 

_They'll laugh and try to get me to. I just don't feel like it right now. _

__Ami was aware of Usagi's grabbing her arm and beginning to drag her along. "Come on! We'll get milkshakes! I'm so hungry!"

Exasperated, Ami sighed, "I can't today! I want to go to-"

"Oooh, Motoki will be there!" That from Minako. 

"Minna! I can't!"

"Homework again?" Makoto asked, trying to help Ami pry Usagi off her arm. "You ran out on us yesterday. Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine. I just need to talk to Setsuna-san."

There were three puzzled frowns surrounding Ami when she mentioned the Guardian of Time. Sighing with a sad smile, Ami continued, "Everything's fine, really. I..." she hesitated. Mention the dream or not? Strangely, she didn't want to share the vision with her friends. Rei might understand, with her own visions, but Rei was at her own school, and not here. "I was at the library, and I found a poem in a dialect I didn't quite follow. I was hoping that Setsuna would recognize it more clearly."

Eyes blinked once, then they looked somewhat more relieved. "If you're sure, Ami-chan?" Usagi asked. 

"Very sure, Usagi-chan. Go on. I know how famished you are after school. Go on!" Ami laughed and shooed them along. That she laughed, more than anything else, ushered them away, and after a moment, they were strolling down the street, oblivious to the world. 

Ami took her time going to visit. She walked towards the outskirts of Juuban, watching the people rush by her, the cars race along the paved streets. If she listened carefully enough, the rhythm of the city pulsed underfoot, noisy and polluted as it was. Though the streets were usually swept clean, there was always a little garbage strewn in the crannies of the alleys. 

_Is it me, or does the world seem more real today? More real? How silly. What am I thinking?_

__At a bus stop, Ami sat and waited, the bus rolling up to the curb a few minutes later, and she rode it out, watching the city become more suburban. By the time she reached her stop, it was yards and flowers lining them. Strolling down the streets here, the pace was slower, though still so close to the gleaming city. 

That the house was Michiru's was obvious. It was elegant, with a wide porch and an abundance of flowers neatly lining the yard in geometrical patterns. 

_But they would look so much prettier if given some room to spread...._

__A pretty white house, with dark blue shutters, and wide windows to look out of. Ami stepped up onto the long porch, knocked on the door, and nearly leapt back when it was opened instantly by Kaioh Michiru, who was decked out in an expensive formal gown. 

"Ami-chan?" Michiru blinked, startled. "Oh, hello. Come in. Haruka and I were just getting ready to go out...." Michiru frowned and glanced up the stairs. "And they say I take a long time to get ready. Here," Michiru shut the door behind Ami. 

_She's so elegant...._

Michiru had chosen a black satin dress, strapless, and an aquamarine wrap against the spring's evening chill. Her hair was pinned up into a twist on the top of her head, and loose tendrils fell delicately around her face. Glittering jewelry only added to the elegance of it. 

"Did you need something, Ami?" 

Ami broke her gaze, and nodded. "I need to speak to Setsuna."

"Mm. She and Hotaru are having dinner in the kitchen." And as if to enforce her statement, there was the sound of rattling dishes, clattering against each other. Faintly, Ami smelled food. _Italian? _Her stomach rumbled slightly, but not noticeably. 

Just then, Haruka came rushing down the stairs. "I'm ready!" She announced, running to the closet, and grabbing her coat, slinging it on over a black tuxedo, one of the stylish ones with the high collar that didn't need a tie. "Sorry," Haruka apologized as Michiru shook her head. 

"Are you having a concert, Michiru-san?" Ami asked. 

"No, not tonight. There's a Noh play at the theatre. Haruka brought me tickets last night as a surprise." Michiru beamed at Haruka, who grinned sheepishly and offered Michiru her coat. 

"I thought you'd like it."

"Well I do," Michiru replied, and took Haruka's arm. "We'd better get going. It starts at six."

"See you, Ami," Haruka commented, and Michiru waved as they glided out the door. Moments later, the sound of Haruka's car starting roared into the early evening light, and they were gone. 

Ami followed the smell of food and the clattering of dishes to the dining room, where she found Setsuna trying desperately not to laugh, since Hotaru was sitting, bewildered, with a large smear of pizza sauce on her cheek. 

"Nani, Setsuna-mama?"

Setsuna could only laugh. "Hotaru-chan...." She made a motion to her face, and Hotaru touched it, the tomato sauce coming off on her fingers, and she began to laugh as she took up a napkin. Setsuna paused a moment and turned, noticing Ami standing in the doorway.

"Michiru let me in."

Setsuna tilted her head to one side, the sweep of her hair falling behind her. "Have a seat." Hotaru opened the lid of the box, and a swirl of steam rose off the pepperoni. "Help yourself." Setsuna said with a wave of her hand. 

"Arigatou." Ami glanced around for a plate, and Hotaru leapt up to get one, darting into the kitchen and out again, whipping it out of a cabinet. 

"Here you go." 

"Arigatou."

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Just water, please."

Hotaru rushed back into the kitchen, and there was the suction sound of the freezer door opening and closing. 

"Can we help you with something?" Setsuna asked as Ami stared at her slice of pizza. "You look troubled." Setsuna leaned back in her chair as Hotaru returned, passing the glass to Ami, and settled herself back at the table. "It's not the Princess or Small Lady is it?"

"No, no, nothing like that... I just had a question. It's nothing too important."

"What is it then?" Setsuna was frowning from behind the rim of her glass. It was unlike one of the Inner Senshi to ask for help on a personal level such as this. Though they always wished to work together, fight together, they seemed to have different spheres of personal life; perhaps it was age. And Setsuna had seen the shadows that were gathering around Sailor Mercury, clinging about her. Taking a swift look at Hotaru, she saw that the Soldier of Death also saw the shadows, since she was staring intently, but unobtrusively, as though uncertain what she was seeing. "You wouldn't have come if it weren't important, Ami," she set her glass down on the table, and wiped her lips with a napkin. "You usually don't need any help."

_Oh don't I?_

__"I...well, I don't usually get strange dreams. Actually, I don't remember them that often...but last night...I had a dream, and I saw these words." Ami rummaged in her backpack, which she had set down beside her chair. 

Producing the slip of paper she had scribbled on last night, Setsuna took it, unfolding it and looking at it, while Hotaru peered over her shoulder. 

'Yo no naka wonani nagekamashiyamazakurahana miru hodo nokokoro narisheba'

"Murasaki," Setsuna said after a moment.

"You recognize it? I wasn't sure... Murasaki?"

"What does it say, Setsuna-mama?" Hotaru asked as she watched the paper. 

"It says, 'Why do we suffer so in the world? Just regard life as the short bloom of the mountain cherry.'"

"A _waka?_" 

"Yes. Ami, you say you saw this in a dream?"

Ami was twisting her napkin in her fingers, and not looking up. "Hai," she replied softly, and met their eyes. "Murasaki. As in the _'Tale of Genji'_ Murasaki?"

Setsuna nodded, and leaned forward on the table, placing her elbows on the top, and lacing her fingers together, placing her chin on them thoughtfully. "I assume you've read it?"

"A modern Japanese translation. A couple years ago."

Setsuna tapped a finger against her cheek, and Hotaru asked, "Don't we have that in the library?"

Biting her lip, Setsuna nodded. "Yes, in paperback. Two copies, actually, one in the Heian dialect."

Ami's head popped up in interest. "How did you get one in...oh." She blushed. "Of course you can get one from the 11th century."

Setsuna laughed a little, shaking her head. "No, nothing like that, Ami. Just a lucky used book shopper one day. The Heian dialect is different than that of modern Japanese. There are still many similarities, but over all, it would be like Middle English to Modern English. The sounds are there, but the syntax, and the vocabulary," she waved a hand. "different. It's natural you wouldn't get it just at first glance. Don't worry about it."

"We were told about the Heian period in school," Hotaru ventured, swallowing the last bit of crust from her pizza slice. "Shikibu Murasaki wrote the _'Tale of Genji'_, and it is believed to be the world's first novel. Sensei was pleased to tell us that the world's first novel was written by a woman." Hotaru grinned, glad to contribute to the conversation. "Maybe I should read it."

"Ah..." Setsuna paused, her glass halfway to her mouth. "Maybe in a year or two, Hotaru-chan."

"Why?" Hotaru asked, puzzled. "I read lots of big books. You never stopped me before."

Setsuna didn't look too happy, but Ami guessed it was Genji's infidelities. Of course, Ami herself had been little older than Hotaru, but still. 

Hotaru settled herself into her chair, and looked at Ami. "What were you dreaming about, to see a _waka_ in your sleep?"

"Oh, just a small dream. I was at a river, and I saw the words on paper. I probably saw them before, and forgot. You know all the psychological dream interpretation of the subconscious mind. I've read so many books, I've forgotten what I've read, and now I'm dreaming about it." Ami tried to pass it off, and was aware that the other two didn't really buy it, but were not rude enough to say so. 

"Well, if that's all," Setsuna began, letting herself trail off a little, allowing Ami to continue the conversation if she so wished. Unsurprisingly, Ami remained silent, and began to eat her piece of pizza, which was beginning to grow cold in the air. 

Hotaru broke the dawning silence. "How is Chibi-Usa-chan?" 

Ami looked up, and chewed a little. "Fine, last I saw her. I haven't been to Usagi-chan's in a couple days, but I'm sure she's doing fine."

"And the Princess?" Setsuna asked.

Ami became very still, and looked at her plate, and the moment hung like a droplet of water on the blade of a leaf. Slowly, it fell. "You remember the earthquake two days ago?"

"Two of my lamps broke," Hotaru told her. "Fell off the shelves."

"I was taking Usagi-chan to the library, and some of the casing fell off the building. She broke her wrist when she fell, and has a black eye."

Ami heard Hotaru suck in her breath, but Setsuna was better accustomed to judging her reactions, and made no movement. "An accident, Ami-chan," Setsuna told her gently. "She's all right, I take it, since we were not informed immediately?"

Ami nodded miserably. 

"An accident, Ami-chan," Setsuna repeated firmly. "An accident."

Looking up, Ami saw her face very grave. "Yes." She looked at the clock to escape Setsuna's watchful garnet eyes. "It's getting late...Mom's home evenings today. I really should get going. Thank you for the pizza."

"Do you want a ride back?"

"No, that's okay. There should be a bus soon, and it's not so dark yet."

"You're sure?"

"Hai, arigatou."

Setsuna and Hotaru watched her leave from the door, silhouetted by the porchlight. Ami'shead was down, eyes diverted from the space before her. "Hotaru-chan?"

"Hai, Setsuna-mama?"

"I sense something of time around her. But it is unclear. Do you feel it?"

Hotaru nodded. "It is death."

"Hers?"

Hotaru stepped closer to Setsuna, as Ami disappeared from their vision. "It hovers, but I do not believe so. It...echoes. Like an illusion. And it clings to her shadows."

_Will the dream come to me again? Will I see the kami again?_

__With trepidation, Ami looked at the bedcovers she had unrolled. She did not even know if she wanted to see the vision again, though it occupied her mind incessantly. 

_Kami was beautiful. And she called me Kanashimi. Sorrow. Do I wear my feelings so plainly on my face? Or is she seeing into my mind, and acting on my own thoughts? Gods, how this makes me wish I have read Freud. _

__It was with a sigh of resignation that she took up her literature book, always saving the stories for the last thing to do before sleep. It was a habit, in hope that the tales of distant eras and places would wander their way into her dreams, and make them good ones. This time, though, the distant place her mind took her was so real it was surreal, a painting breathed into life. 

And so it was that she fell asleep, her cheek on the open leaves of the book, and the letters exposed to the light of her lamp. 

Energies floated and danced in the darkness that swallowed her. It also seemed that candles floated in the water, and long ebony hair that was not her own writhed like seaweed before her eyes, tangling in the silent water of the depths. The light of the candles leapt high, dancing in her sight, and they rolled on the waves that she moved though with thought. The light was drowned in the darkness of the water, but only until she surfaced, and felt herself again, and air filled her and she breathed again. 

_I did return, as I hoped and feared...._

__Only now, her place was not standing beside Kami, and she did not know where she was. Again, she wore her school uniform, short sleeved and with her loafers. Sitting on a futon, she pushed back covers, and stood on the tatami mats of rushes that lined the floor of the room. Light emanated through the paper screens that were the walls, illuminating the black silhouettes of bothcrane and willow tree.

As bright and light as the day had been, it seemed that the night in this place was equally dark. Only her soft footfalls echoed in the silence, and none of the bustling of a home was heard there. Into this hanging silence, a song began to rise, lilting and with rhythm, breathing like the wind on the grass. So Ami followed this sound, and slipping in through the cracked shoji door, found a small lamp lit in a nearly empty room. Kami sat at a _koto_, her fingers wearing picks, and plucking the instrument, summoning the tune and chant that Ami did not know. 

Her robe was dark, except for a bright whiteness against her pale skin, and the single lamp flame cast dying suns of shadow into the crevices of the room, creating deep hollows in the contours of Kami's face. 

"You play beautifully," Ami told her when the strings stilled. 

Kami hesitated, hand on the strands of silk. "I've been playing since I was very little. Someday, I wish to play above the clouds."

_Above the clouds?_

__"Do you play _koto_, Kanashimi-chan?"

"No, gomen ne."

Ami, feeling odd standing while Kami remained kneeling at the _koto_, came and sat down across from her, arranging her uniform's skirt to settle around her knees. 

"A pity. Here, only father can play. There are only the servants, otherwise. It would be nice, to have people around."

"Where is your father, since he can't join you playing?"

Kami shook her head. "He is here. But father is ill. That's why we moved from Miyako. The priests believed that the air is better here, and the sickness will leave him."

Judging by Kami's sad face and eyes that lingered on her _koto_, Ami judged that she disagreed with the priest's decree. "You don't think so?"

"I don't know medicine," Kami demurred, lashes lowered. "How can I know what priests do not? They intervene with the gods."

There was really nothing Ami could say to her about such a thing. If this was a dream, then it would make no difference. If real in some sense, then how could she intervene and change the course of this girl's destiny? The images here were of the past...one from a future time may not alter the course of history, though those in the past may ever alter the future. 

"Kami...-chan, what is 'above the clouds'?"

Kami laughed, and there was a stir of wind, accompanied by a ringing wind bell, a _furin_, outside Kami's door. "Kanashimi-chan! Shame on you! I speak of the emperor's court, where the shining ones dwell! They live above the clouds, above all this." She gestured at the tatami mats, the _koto_, the shoji and the screens, the flickering lamp. "Father has been to court, and he told me how they look and dress! He even brought me a copy of '_Genji Monogatari'_, that everyone now reads. I wonder if all the men are so dashing there." She looked shyly at her _koto_, and covered her face with her sleeve. "So sorry. I fear I will grow to be an old maid. I want to care for father, yet...I still dream of court. It is said that those who are gifted in poetry and song may succeed there, and help them to gain favor in the eyes of the emperor. Would that not be grand? To sit at court?"

"That's why you practice your music and writing, isn't it? Hoping to go to the court?"

"Oh, yes. But..." she looked sad. "I should not say it, for fear of ill-wishing. But I mean no harm by it. I mean to stay with father only until he passes into the land of Amida Buddha. Then..." her eyes became full of dreams and hope as she spoke. "my father's sister...I will go live with her, at her house in Miyako, and hope to enter through good connections." She blushed in the shadows, and hid her face in her sleeve again. "But I have high dreams. I know they may not ever become real, yet I still have them. Is that not what is most important?"

Images of her own nightmares filled Ami's mind; she remembered when she had been forced to face them in her own home, when lemures sent by the Dead Moon had invaded, trying to steal her dreams. 

_And is that not what I am fighting again, right now? Only this time, the nightmares are created by my own mind, not by some outside force. And maybe that makes them all the more viscous._

__Kami was watching her expectantly out of her pale purple eyes, and Ami was aware that she had a confused look on her face. She wished she could hide her face behind her sleeve the way Kami had, but knew she could only lift her hand to her mouth in a blush as she usually did, her habit. Startled to touch cloth, silken cloth, Ami stared.

"You dressed much more nicely this night, Kanashimi-chan," Kami commented, tilting her head like an uncertain bird. 

Blinking, she held her hands out before her, and found they were covered in long sleeves, cuffed at the ends, much like Kami's. Light blue, so very light it was nearly white, slipped over increasingly deepening layers of darkness, merging to a indigo so deep it was like the darkest depths of the ocean. 

"What do you call your style?"

"Nani?" Ami was bewildered. "My style?"

"Yes, your dress. This is my nightwear, but when we went to the river, I wore my mother's _Chrysanthemum Rain_. She made the pattern long ago, and I changed it a little, for better style today."

"I don't know what to call it."

Kami took this very seriously, tapping her finger to her chin. "Well, then we must name it! Ah, Kanashimi-chan, it is water, surely! You must call it _Whitewater!_ Yes, I like it. _Whitewater_. It suits you. Oh..." she paused. "Unless you don't like it. Of course you don't have to call it...."

Ami laughed lightly, waving a hand to stop her. "No, no, _Whitewater_ is fine, and _Chrysanthemum Rain_ was lovely."

"Ah. Arigatou." Kami seemed very pleased. She began to idly touch the silk strings. "It grows so late. I am glad you came to visit. Ah! Kanashimi-chan! I have an idea! Come look!"

Gathering her robes up around her, Kami scrambled in her very unladylike yet still strangely graceful way. Ami clambered after her, used to chasing down Usagi or the others. Kami had rolled open the shoji, and was looking out over her yard, which was filled with fireflies. 

"They like the trees just before the wood to dance, and marshes, since there is water. But see how they come dance here? Is it not pretty?"

If the darkness within the house was illuminated only by the lamp, the outdoors were lit only by fireflies, wheeling and spinning as they fluttered around the open courtyard. 

"Very," Ami murmured as the yellow pinpoints blinked on and off. 

"Kanashimi-chan?" Kami gasped. 

"Kami-chan? _Kami-chan!" _Ami tried to reach for her hand, but suddenly there were fireflies streaming at them, sending their lights dancing and rolling around them as she tried to push her way through the blinding swarm. _"Kami-chan!_" 

_I have to help her! Henshin! Henshin yo!_

__"Mercury Crystal Power! Make...."

It was as though she drowned, and she fought with the tide of dreams, trying to swim her way through the moment, to stretch back to the instant she was torn away, to hold on. Too late, her fingers faded through the air, and the dancing flames washed over her vision, taking her back to her world, to gasp up out of the dream, sending her book in a slide to the floor. 

_I know this is no natural dream. Kami does not mean to hurt me. It's something else. Something sad and dark. Next time, next time I go back, and I have to go back, next time, I'll go back, and I'll ask her what is haunting her. Rei-chan. Rei-chan knows how to banish evil spirits. Something is hanging on Kami, and I will free her of it. I don't know how or why I am the one to do it, but maybe, just maybe, if I can, I can prove to myself that I am worthy to be the Soldier of Water._

_ _

_ _

_ _

_ _

_ _

Well, that ends chapter one…hope you're enjoying so far…so, don't forget to review! Reviews are good! Fic authors slave away for a good tale, and the don't hear reviews? That's so depressing! And this fic is depressing enough. 

Ja ne!

-Queen


	4. Illusion, Who Lets No One See Her Face

The Bloom of the Mountain Cherry

_ _

_Chapter 2- __Illusion, Who Lets No One See Her Face_

_ _

_ _

As life flows on, who ever will read it? This keepsake to her whose memory will never die?

-Murasaki Shikibu

Her eyes flickering easily over the page, Ami read from her assignment book. There was a great feeling of satisfaction, getting work done, and done well. She felt content, having completed Friday's test, and even Usagi was giggling that she thought she did well on the exam in social studies. 

_For her, a miracle, but if I were to fail, imagine the shock of it. The illusion I cast over myself would be shattered._

And it was true. Some viscous people would smile when a good person at last seems to fail; but to Ami it could destroy her. It wasn't that Ami thought she had failed. It was simply that her grades had become such a part of her personality that the rest of her was lost within it, and it was forgotten that there was more to her mind than her schoolwork. Shaking her head with a slight bit of sadness and laughter, she watched Usagi and Minako giggling in the corner of Rei's room, having broken into Rei's stash of manga, and were reading and commenting as they progressed through the story. 

"Minako-chan, what are you reading?"

Minako's red bow bobbed up as she glanced up from the manga, and grinned. "Magic Knight Rayearth! I am _so_ Hikaru!"

Rei snorted from her computer, where she was idly surfing along the Internet. "And that would make me who? Umi?"

"Uh-huh. And Ami is Fuu!"

Rei rolled her eyes and returned to the monitor. 

_Actually, I'd rather be Presea._

__"Chibi-Usa-chan," Ami asked, "would you pass the cookies?" 

Ami had her books out before her as one would expect, and since it was Friday and they weren't studying, everyone was sprawled out, and food was scattered around the room, brought by both Chibi-Usa and Makoto, as well as a frozen pizza provided by Rei's refrigerator. Luna and Artemis were curled up asleep in another room. With no enemies, and tests completed, even Luna didn't have a reason to lecture Usagi on studying. Diana sitting quietly on the table, watching the girls as they read and talked. 

"Sure!" The pink haired girl pushed the tray over the table, and peered at Ami's work. "I'm still working on getting them to look prettier, but they still taste good."

Ami bit into the cookie and smiled down at her friend's daughter. "Hai, Chibi-Usa-chan. They taste great. Is Mako-chan helping you?"

"No," Makoto intoned from the other side of the room, where she was reading a music magazine, hanging upside down off Rei's bed. "Hey, there's an article in here about Michiru's last concert. Good reviews."

"Big surprise," Rei commented, not taking her eyes from the screen. "Michiru always gets good reviews."

Usagi sighed, looking up from the manga with stars in her eyes. "I wish I could play violin like that!" 

There were a few groans. 

"Nani?" Bewildered, Usagi looked around. "Nani? Minako-chan?" Minako just shook her head despairingly. "Ami-chan! Nani?"

"Usagi-chan, you _do_ remember your last attempt to try to play the violin?"

Usagi blinked. "Oh yeah." She moped a little bit, but got distracted by the manga after a moment, managing to hold the book open awkwardly with her wrist. 

Ami began to glance at the clock. Seven. Eight. More chatter and discussion. Minako's new dress, the peace that had settled on them, Usagi and Mamoru, Makoto's new recipe, Chibi-Usa's latest school project, Usagi and Mamoru again, and Michiru's next concert. 

_I want to speak to Rei alone, not with them all here. I'm still not even sure what to say about it. Patience, Ami, be patient. At least they aren't asking you if you're all right constantly anymore. And Usagi is looking better. That's good._

Her thoughts were restless, and she tried to hide it behind the facade of studies. As it always seemed to, what was considered to be usual hid her nerves. There was the sound a clock striking nine in the hallway outside, and Diana spoke up. "Small Lady, Ikuko-mama told you and the Queen to be home at nine o'clock. You'll be late."

Chibi-Usa was having her turn with the new manga, and leapt up in perfect unison with her mother, except Chibi-Usa didn't let out a painstaking screech upon realizing she was late. 

"Mom's gonna _kill_ me!" Usagi began to grab at her things, rushing frantically around the room. 

"Speaking of moms killing daughters, I'd better get going too," Minako added, slipping on her shoes. "Ja ne, minna!" Minako darted out the door as Usagi finished flinging on her pink jacket, and they heard Minako calling for Artemis as she headed out of the house. 

"Chibi-Usa! Let's run!"

"Hai! Come on, Diana!" The grey kitten jumped into her Lady's arms, and Luna appeared in the doorway, frowning. 

"Usagi, your mother wanted Chibi-Usa home before it got late."

"Hey! You were the one asleep this time! You should have told me!" Usagi bolted for the door.

"_Freeze, odango!_"Rei screeched, pointing, as Usagi was two strides from the door. "Give it back!"

"But, Rei-chan..." Usagi tried to edge closer to the door.

"Now!"

Biting her lip, Usagi handed over the manga she had been trying to sneak out, and then escaped out the door, running full tilt, Chibi-Usa on her heels. 

"She does know how to make an exit," Makoto commented as she stood up and set aside the magazine. "I'd better get going too." Makoto shrugged into her jacket. "See you two later."

"Ja ne, Mako-chan," Ami waved. 

"Bye, Mako-chan," Rei sighed as she began to clean up the remaining mess. 

"Here, I'll help." The two elements of opposing powers silently moved about the room, picking up plates and cups, straightening pillows and replacing manga and magazines. 

"Thanks, Ami-chan," Rei told her as they balanced dirty dishes between the two of them, heading to the kitchen to put them in the dishwasher. Rei looked at Ami, and could see that there were thoughts playing across her face. Better to let her speak on her own terms, Rei decided, knowing Ami was unlikely to blurt out a true problem. There was an aura ghosting around her, and it made Rei's skin prickle. At first she had thought it merely Ami's mood; but it was not, she was certain of that now. 

Dishes clattering, Ami handed Rei dish after dish as they loaded the dishwasher. "Rei-chan?"

Rei tried not to jerk her head up too quickly. "Hai, Ami-chan?"

"I..." She shook her head. 

Rei tilted her head to one side, and watched Ami patiently. "Everything okay?"

"How do you know when there is evil? How do you sense it?"

Rei blinked uncertainly for a moment, and leaned against the counter, thinking. "I don't think there's a way to explain how you sense something. You just do."

"I know you use a banishment to dispel evil spirits...."

"Is there something haunting you?" This wasn't exactly what Rei had been expecting to hear from Ami. "A youma? Is there an enemy?" Rei was instantly on the alert, fearing the current peace would be broken.

"Oh, no, nothing like that..."_ _

__Shutting the dishwasher and turning it on, Rei asked, "Then what is it?" She settled herself on a chair behind the counter. 

"I just..."

Rei was frowning at her. 

_How to explain this? Should I just tell her? About Kami? No. No, this is a thing for me to fight. _

__Continuing carefully, Ami stood across the kitchen floor, the sound of the dishwasher whirring behind her, the faint scent of soap drifting in the air. "I have this dream. And each time, something bad happens at the end of it. There was lightning the first time, then..." _It seems so silly, saying it out loud.... _"fireflies. I thought maybe there was some way to banish the darkness in the dream."

Rei was thinking, idly drawing circles with a finger on the countertop. "Dreams are often reflections of our own thoughts. You're suggesting something supernatural, as though someone else was bringing the dream to you. Are you sure this is real?"

_She doesn't believe me...._

__"I just wanted to know...it's really nothing...gomen ne, it's just a reoccurring dream with some variations.... Gomen ne, for bringing it up." Ami shook her head. "I really must get going."

"Ami-chan," Reibegan, then changed her mind of what she was going to say. "There are many ways to banish evil. 'Aku Ryo Tai San' is only one way. Try to find the way within the dream. Dreams often become their own reality."

Ami smiled faintly, sadly. "Arigatou, Rei-chan." The two went back to Rei's room, and Ami gathered her things. 

"You know that I'll help you if you need it."

"I can handle it myself, Rei." Ami snapped, then blinked, looking at Rei's startled face. It was a rare thing for Ami to say anything so sharply. Ami opened her mouth to apologize, shut it again, then blurted, "Gomen ne, Rei-chan...." Ami met her friend's eyes evenly. "But this is a thing I must do myself."

Rei nodded once in acceptance, and then Ami left to return home. 

_Even though, for these last two nights, I have dreamed, I still wonder if I will return. Dreams pass by so easily. The way within the dream. Something is hanging on Kami. She was right to tell me it doesn't matter how or why I come to that strange place. It doesn't. There is something else at stake here. I only hope that I am not chasing my own shadow. _

__Since Ami wished to sleep, she didn't. The sleep of dreams eluded her, and only the wakefulness of her wondering mind kept her occupied. She didn't want to read. That would require concentration on a subject or story that was not questioning her part in Kami's trouble. Snug in the warmth of her covers, she did not want to move. She would look at the clock, green digits glowing faintly, and see that only another minute had passed from the previous one. She lay on her back. Side. Stomach. Back again, restless. For one accustomed to doing work immediately, it was hard to be patient, trying to estimate the whim of a dream. 

There was a light fixture on her ceiling, with clouded glass. Out of the misted panes, tiny flowers had been cleared, long petaled. And when these petals began to brighten and fall around her, lighting her room, Ami breathed deeply, and there was the fragrance of wildflowers. 

"Kanashimi-chan! You'll get your dress dirty!" Kami laughed, and Ami felt her hand grasped, and was pulled to her feet. "What are you doing, lying on the ground like that? You'll get your _Whitewater_ all full of grass stains! And you know how difficult those are to wash out." 

Kami wore a simpler version of _Chrysanthemum Rain, _the same lavender coloring, but dark on the uppermost layer, most likely more practical, since the dark color was less prone to stains from the ground. 

Ami looked at Kami, and realized they were exactly the same height. 

_I don't know what I was doing on the ground...but the day here is lovely...it even looks natural, without the brightness or darkness of the previous days. Only sunny. _

__"I was only looking at the sun, Kami-chan."

Kami's plucked eyebrows lifted, and she looked disbelievingly at Ami. "You look Amaterasu-sama in the face? Eeee, then you either have much better eyes, or are much braver than me, ne?"

Ami shook her head with a smile, and watched Kami carefully. 

_If there is a youma, ghost or demon haunting her, then I will find out in this journey into her world. I wonder...she is surely the one summoning me here. I wonder how...._

__"Kami-chan?"

"Hai?" Kami had begun to wander further along the narrow path they walked on. Glancing furtively behind her, Ami saw the curving slope of the mansion's roof on a low rise, and there was high, pale green grass around where she stood, some wildflowers breaking the greenery with tiny pools of color. Turning, Ami saw the willow they had settled under when writing their poetry. There were more of the noisy sounds of the cicadas, summertime insects clattering their racket. 

Wind sending her hair into eddies, Ami replied, "Kami-chan, do you do magic?"

Kami gave her a blank stare.

_Apparently not. Then what....?_

__"Do you need a spell, Kanashimi-chan?"

_Or then again maybe...._

__"Yes, I think so. I've felt a great darkness about me lately. I wish to banish it."

Kami looked slightly agitated, and was beginning to wring her hands, but the expression on her face was one of deep contemplation. Her ankle length hair swung in a black river down her back, as she paced a bit, hesitating, then deciding. "Ah. I have it. We will work a magic for you, get rid of the old bad energy. I will perform the ceremony as well." Kami looked a little uncertain. "Lately, I have had the most strange dreams. Of places far away, I believe. There were dark things there, Kanashimi-chan." Her face filled with some light, as she took Ami's arm. "I saw the most peculiar thing though! People fought with the darkness, as though it were tangible and solid, not a thing at all for priests to banish. Ah, I wish I could do such things!" The expression faded, like the sun being covered by a dancing cloud, shadowing then lightening the sea of grass. 

_Did she see the senshi, battling? Does this confirm that there is a youma? I shouldn't jump to conclusions...._

__But Kami was leading Ami further down the meandering path, and stopping them in a cluster of flowers. "Some of these. Yes, grass orchids. These will work. It would have been better if we had fasted to cleanse ourselves, but...we can do this anyway. Help me pick some?"

They set themselves to gathering the grass orchids, careful not to break off too many of the leaves. Each had a full armload of the plant, and Kami led the way down to the riverbank, where the waters swiftly flowed downstream. 

Closing her eyes, Kami took her bouquet, and swept it over her body, the leaves brushing against her damask robes. As Ami watched her perform this ritual, she watched the leaves take on shimmering shades, red and blue and green, which deepened into midnight shades of black. 

_Into the leaves of grass orchids, she places all her doubts and worries. There are many ways to banish evil. 'Try to find the way within the dream. Dreams often become their own reality.' If that is so, then could this do it? Banish whatever is causing the darkness around Kami? Maybe. Then...is this it? _

__Ami swept the leaves over herself, and into them placed all her fear and worry, letting it soak into the plant. She watched the leaves grow heavy with her doubts and worries, saturated with the things she fought with in her mind. Opening her eyes, Ami saw that Kami was waiting for her.

Stepping closer to the ledge of the high bank, her sandals made a soft tapping noise against the rock. "Are you coming?" Kami asked without turning. 

Ami took her place beside Kami, and together, they threw the grasses into the blue river, seeing them break apart and swirl in the rippling currents, their worries tumbling apart and dissolving in the strength of the water, even as they swirled together. 

_I don't know why, but I feel as though the world has been removed from my shoulders._

Ami let out a deep breath, and she heard a similar sound from Kami. "I feel better," Ami told her. 

Smiling, Kami agreed. "So do I. Let all the sad energies return to the earth, and be washed away. I prayed that I would be a great lady in Miyako. What did you pray for?"

_What did I pray for?_

__"I prayed that the only illusions I cast will be real ones."

And the world did seem brighter. Golden shades reflected off the grass and the trees, and the river became silver and molten in the growing light. Ami smiled, looking around at the beauty of the day. But as she looked at Kami, her face fell. Kami was looking at the sun, bewildered, and shaking her head. "Ah," she said, "that is a good thing to pray for. But it is too bad that it's nearly nighttime, ne? The sun is already setting. We'd better go back home, or else get caught out in the dark."__

__"But Kami-chan, it's so bright out." Ami knew the sound of her voice was plaintive. If Kami still had the darkness hanging around her, then whatever she had needed to banish was still lingering. 

_Maybe I should have had Rei help me. Maybe I can't do this alone. I don't even know what to look for, and Kami will only come to harm in the end._

__"Bright? No, it's nighttime. See how the sun sets?" She pointed at the empty horizon. "It is lovely, with the purples and reds. Ah, Kanashimi, I am so glad you come visit me." Kami turned and began to walk back up the path. "I like our quiet talks. Sometimes, too many people," she made a dismissive motion with her hand. "get noisy. Don't you agree?"

_She doesn't want me to bring Rei. How does she know that is what I was considering? Does she know? Or is it coincidence?_

"Hai, Kami-chan."

She nodded. "Oh, I wish we had a lantern! It is so dark!" Kami began to turn around, to search for Ami, who stood only a pace or so behind her. "Kanashimi-chan? Kanshimi-chan? Where are you?" Her voice grew panicked. "I can't see you! Kanashimi-chan!"

As Kami's world darkened into night, Ami's lit into the brilliance of day, more specifically the ocean of light that fell onto her face through her window. 

_She's still trapped. I've still failed. But I'm not giving up yet._

_ _

__Thinking out a plan in the early hours of the morning, Ami decided to visit Setsuna again. First, to ask if she knew of any person who would fit Kami's description. It was a long shot, but Ami felt certain that with Kami's persistence in her dream of going to court, she may have been seen by the Soldier of Time. Ami doubted that Kami could fail in going, even though having to wait. And Setsuna had a very good memory. Second, Ami had looked at the _waka_ that Kami had copied out. 

_It is so sad. Odd, though, that she tell me it was a day not to write sad things. _

__But despite this, Ami loved the poem, and found herself repeating it in her head. She decided to ask if she may borrow Setsuna's copy of _'The Tale of Genji.'_ Perhaps refreshing her memory of Kami's era would help, or give her ideas. The book she had read had been from the library, and not her own. 

Together, with her determination to figure this mystery out, Ami set out once again to the home of the Outer Senshi. 

There was a great deal of quiet at the house. The bus ride had been bumpy, jostling her along in an uneven drive, on an equally lumpy seat. Ami rapped her knuckles against the door, hoping she would be heard. Even from the porch, she could hear the sound of '_The Marine Cathedral'_ pouring out music like the tide. A few moments, and Ami knocked again, this time the tune pausing. She rang the bell, and the silence continued as she heard footsteps in the hallway, and a blur of motion through the stained glass window to the side of the door. 

Michiru appeared, smiling but puzzled to see Ami there. "Ami-chan. Please, come in." She held open the door and Ami stepped inside. Ami tried not to stare at Michiru, as Michiru tried not to stare at her. "Ami-chan, I think we've been shopping in the same store."

Ami couldn't help but laugh once, as did Michiru. They turned to look in the hall tree's mirror, and saw that they each wore loose, baggy jeans and nearly identical high collared sweaters. Only Ami's was lavender, and Michiru's green. 

Michiru laughed, taking a hairband off her wrist and ponytailing her hair. "Well, great minds, ne, Ami-chan?"

"I suppose."

"Come in. Can I help you?"

"Actually, I was looking for Setsuna-san. Is she home?"

Michiru was already shaking her head. "Gomen, no. Setsuna is at the Observatory today. Haruka took Hotaru-chan over to Chibi-Usa's. Just me home, practicing."

"Oh. Well."Ami fidgeted. 

_I may not be able to ask Setsuna about Kami, but I can still ask about Genji. _

__"Michiru-san, I was going to ask Setsuna if I could borrow a book from her...."

"Ah. What? I'm sure she won't mind." Michiru began to lead her down the hallway to the library, pulling open the door. Her violin and its case lay neatly on the desk, a sheaf of sheet music lay scattered on the sofa, except for one, which was pinned open on the music stand. 

"_'The Tale of Genji._'" Ami told her, craning her neck to look around the room. She stepped into the checkerboard of light the high window splashed onto the floor. "I'm trying to do research into the Heian period."

Thinking, Michiru looked at the spines of the lining books. "Setsuna has this all arranged somehow. Of course," she waved a hand at the walls, "Haruka and I can never figure it out. Hotaru all but lives in here. But I think she keeps the classics over here...." Michiru began to dig through the titles, peering sideways as she edged along the wall. After a moment, Ami chose another area of the wall, tapping a finger against each book as she passed it. 

"Michiru! I found it. Look." Ami plucked it off the shelf. "They're in historical order. See? There's the_ Illiad, Odyssey, Aeneid...Consolation of Philosophy, Tale of Genji_."

Michiru had a hand to her temple, and shook her head. "She _would_ put them in the order that they were written."

"Haven't you read any of these, though, Michiru-san? They're classics."

"Of course. But I keep my own in my room. Setsuna just is far too hidebound." Michiru began to pluck at _'The Marine Cathedral'_ and the soft notes filled the library. 

Ami flipped through the first few pages of the edition she held, looking at the woodcuts that had been placed into the text, illustrating scenes from the story.

"Was there anything else, Ami?" Michiru asked, settling her violin under her chin. 

"Oh...no, that's all. Arigatou."

Michiru took the violin off her shoulder. "I think there is. Come, you can't keep secrets from another water senshi. It sets the tides wrong." 

_I always forget, that the Outers seem to sense things more easily than we Inners. Perhaps that will come with age. Or experience. _

__"I...well," Ami stuttered, and Michiru shut her violin case, turning with her hands on her hips. 

"The tides turn darkly," Michiru decided. "Setsuna told us what you said to her and Hotaru, about the Princess. It's not that, is it?" 

"No...no, not really." She sounded a little doubtful. 

"Then what is it?"

_I don't want to explain about Kami to her. We are of one element, and in that way we are alike. Yet something still restrains me from saying any more. _

__Ami shook her head. "It's just gotten to me, that I wasn't able to move swiftly enough."

Michiru was looking at Ami very hard, her expression unreadable, save for the storm of shifting current running through her eyes. Abruptly, Michiru stood, having come to a decision, and went to the library's desk, taking out a pad of paper and a pencil. 

"Draw it," she commanded the younger girl. 

"Nani?"

Slapping the pad and pencil down on the end table before Ami, Michiru sat down on the far end of the sofa. "Sit, and draw it."

"Oh, I can't-"

Michiru made a dismissive sound, almost as though insulted. "You cannot face a fear until you have invoked it. Draw what it is that is upsetting you. Look at it."

"But I can't-"

Cutting her off, Michiru grabbed the remaining sheet music and cleared a space for Ami to sit. She stacked it, and set it aside. "Just because you are the one who is known for science, and I for art, doesn't mean I can't use a computer, and you can't paint. Draw what worries you, and maybe you will find some peace."

_And if I leave now, then what? I have little choice. What difference does it make, anyway?_

__Ami perched on the edge of the sofa, taking the pencil and leaning over the pad awkwardly. She began to sketch, erased, sketch again. 

Michiru watched for a moment, then got up, and paced the room, finally picking up _'The Marine Cathedral'_ again, reluctant to leave Ami to complete the job herself. She needs to be pushed, Michiru decided. Too timid, without someone to force her to use the strength she already has. Always afraid of someone watching, criticizing. Ami shifted on the couch, and tucked her legs up under her, the paper tablet against her thighs, and she sketched, pencil flying. 

Nodding in satisfaction, Michiru began to send her bow gliding over the strings, and let the room fill with the tide of her waltz. 

From her point, Ami felt her work halting, unsure of what to do. Michiru played almost constantly, but the pauses when she changed songs broke Ami's concentration. 

_Father painted beautiful watercolors. Maybe I inherited some small amount of his skill. _

She filled the page with the loose, floating costume of _Chrysanthemum Rain. _

_Not tight and stiff, like an obi on a kimono. Loose and fluid. _

__Kami's face looked distant, her eyes empty and somewhat sad. Holding a brush in her right hand, her left clasped around a sheet of paper, tiny calligraphy characters being shadowed onto it. Her hair was still bound back in the great loops, the rest spilling down and swirling around her ankles and curling into puddles at her feet, where she knelt on the tatami. 

Ami smiled at the picture of the girl. _Living above the clouds, as she put it, at the court of the emperor. Writing her waka. But why can't I make her look happy?_

__"I think I'm done."

Michiru paused in her playing, and set down the violin, coming to see what Ami had produced. Her eyes widened slightly, and she shook her head. "This is the image that upsets you?"

"Hai?" Ami answered weakly. It was not the image that Michiru was expecting, she knew. Something like a black cloud, perhaps, or an ogre to haunt doorways or curl up under a bed and grab at the unwary when they sleep, sending bad dreams. 

"Then face it," Michiru said finally. "I don't know why you drew her, but if whatever she represents is what upsets you, then that is what you must face." Michiru shrugged. 

_She doesn't know what to make of it....but I think her advice is valid. Face the fear. That is the only way to overcome it. I just have to get Kami to see the same thing, to get her to fight whatever is haunting her, since it seems I can't be the one to do it. _

__"Arigatou, Michiru-san," Ami said, standing. Michiru smiled, trying to look helpful. "Tell Setsuna-san that I'll bring her book back in a week, and that I thank her for lending it to me."

"Of course. You're welcome any time, Ami."

The sun set lowly in the sky, and Ami stared at the food on her plate. All the delicious meals in the world would have seemed tasteless, since she was so preoccupied with Kami and what she should or should not say. Come right out? Ask if there was something haunting her? She had asked if Kami had magic before, and the answer had been no, but then immediately thrown into doubt, since the purification ritual had been performed, and seemed so real. 

"Ami-chan, are you okay? You've been so distracted these last few days."

"Fine, Mom." Ami looked up, smiling at her mother. Dr. Mizuno had spent the day in the kitchen, making a roast. Ami was glad to have her mother home for awhile. Time at the hospital always seemed to keep her away. "Just thinking."

"What about?" 

_Mom does try so hard, even though she knows she's not around much. Especially since Dad left so long ago...._

__"What life must have been like in the eleventh century."

Dr. Mizuno paused, glass of wine to lips, then burst into laughter. "Ami-chan, you always do have the oddest things going on in your head!"

Ami looked confused for a moment, then realized how out of context that must seem to her mother. Ami joined in the joke, shaking her head. "No, no, see, I'm re-reading _'The Tale of Genji,'_ and it just has me thinking."

Dr. Mizuno sipped thoughtfully from the glass. Setting it on the table, she took up a fork, and speared a bit of meat, but hesitated before putting it in her mouth. "I remember reading that for school ages ago. I don't remember it all that well. There was something about the color purple in it...no, lavender."

Frowning in concentration, she tried to remember. 

"Well, Murasaki wrote it. Her name means lavender."

"No, that's not it...the sensei said something about...affinity! That's right. That lavender color was a symbol of affinity." Nodding firmly, Dr. Mizuno looked satisfied that she remembered something from so long ago. 

Sooo…how's it coming? Good? Bad? Please let me know. I really appreciate getting reviews…they keep me writing! 

Arigatou!

-Queen


	5. Illusion, Who Lets No One See Her Face p...

_Illusion, Who Lets No One See Her Face…cont'd…._

Lying with her eyes wide, Ami waited for the sleep of dreams to claim her, her head placed in the center of her pillow, arms curled up over her chest. It was warm and soft, the comfort of a safe bed and a tired body. _Please, let me sleep....I'm tired. Please, let me sleep, and let me dream of Kami and her world again.... _There she waited, looking at the ceiling light, where no brightness glowed, or at the numbers of her alarm clock. Time ticked by, and her sight was filled with an ink black haze, perfumed with the texture of a rich scent....

"Kami-chan, that is a wonderful smell." Ami said softly as she drew aside the shoji door, whisking her skirts within after her. Kami's head perked up, and her lavender eyes smiled in recognition as Ami entered the room. 

"Ah, Kanashimi-chan! Come, sit!" Kami set aside her pestle and gestured at a pillow across from her. The table that lay before them was filled with powders and etched porcelain bowls of different sizes, a large jar of honey among them, sunlight glintingoff the amber coloring. "Come, you must help me! I've been at this for hours." She pushed a bowl and pestle at Ami, who settled her robes about her in a pool of whitewater. Taking up the bowl, Ami sniffed it slightly, and smiled. 

"This is a wonderful smell. What is it called?"

"That is _Plumberry Tears, _my own recipe. I've been experimenting. Here, smell this one." Kami urged another bowl at Ami, and she leaned in to take in that scent as well. 

"And that one?"

"_Maidenflower Unfaded_, my newest experiment. Isn't it lovely? Here, please help."

Ami did as she was instructed, taking up the pestle and copying Kami's diligent pounding, beating the mixture into a thick paste."For how long, Kami-chan?"

"Two thousand beats. It must be a very fine paste, to have the incense come out just right. All this work would be pointless, if not done right, ne?"

"Hai," Ami agreed, and bent to her work of blending. 

_This is so peaceful._

__They sat alone in the room, the windows to the outside open, a soft breeze stirring their hair on occasion. There was the sound of the cicadas outside noisily going about their business, sounding the alarm that summer was there, and its heat. Bright sunlight splashed across the faces of the girls who sat and worked at their mixing, making the colors of their hair glint in the shimmering tones of the afternoon. After a few minutes, it could be felt, warming Ami in her robes, and setting a stiffness in her back from sitting without a chair. But she ignored this, wondering the best way to come casually about to her question. 

_Asking flat out if there is something haunting her is just ridiculous. Who would say that? Well, I suppose Usagi-chan could, but it would seem normal from her, not me. How do you ask a person if they have a ghost hanging around them? _

__The soft grating sound of pestle against clay bowl continued a few more moments, until Kami coughed once, lightly, interrupting the quiet that hung between them. 

"Are you all right, Kami-chan?"

"Eh? Hai, I am. How is yours?"

"I think it's nearly done."

"Ah, good. Let me see." Ami tilted the bowl for her to see the smooth paste. "Very good. Here, have you made this before?"

"No."

"Ah. Here, roll it into a ball, this size," Kami demonstrated by rolling a dark ball the size of a thrush's egg. From the other side of the table, she pulled out a ceramic jar. "Then in here. We'll bury it in the garden, with the morning glories. It will make a nice fragrance when done, ne?"

"Hai, very nice, Kami-chan," Ami agreed, imitating Kami's gestures and rolling the paste into the egg sized balls. They passed a moment this way, and Ami finally asked, "Kami-chan, have you been feeling all right?"

Her response was a cough, deeper and with Kami's sleeve covering her lips. She flushed with embarrassment. "Oh, just a passing cough. I'm fine, Kanashimi-chan."

Ami blinked. "Oh, that's not what I meant...I mean, I'm glad you're all right, but...other than the cough. The other day you seemed so sad, I wanted to know if you were well in that way."

Kami laughed lightly. "I'm fine, of course. You're so silly to worry. You're the one whose name is Sorrow!" She waved a hand in dismissal, setting down the fragrance blend she mixed. 

Ami did not give up so easily._ There is something sad hanging about her, though I can't place it. I have to find out what it is. For her sake. And maybe for my own as well._

__"Have you had any strange dreams? Like you spoke of before? The strange place, and the people who fought? Did any of them come back with you?"

Kami was looking at Ami quizzically, heavy lashes blinking over pale eyes. Her deft fingers set down the pestle, and her eyes considered Ami. "Come with me? No, why should a dream accompany me back from the land of sleep? There would have to be a strong magic to link such places, or a bridge between such worlds. Imagine, speaking to one who fought with demons! What power that must be, to wield."

_I know none of us came here. Well, other than me, and I'm not sure why. Or how. But that is not what I meant. She wouldn't be so sad if it were a senshi. At least I hope not! It must be a youma. Oh god, what if an enemy we killed is trying to attack her? But how? Through me? But I don't even know how I got here! None of this makes sense!_

__"A great power," Ami agreed aloud. "But what I meant was an evil thing. You haven't been attacked, have you? By evil _kami?_"

Kami was choosing her words carefully, picking her phrases. Delicately, she stood, smoothing her skirts and setting aside the incense container. The damp balls of scent rocked against each other from within it.Kami moved to the window, and Ami followed her, looking out over the courtyard. No fireflies hovered there now, and an elegant willow swept its branches across the stones. "You worry for me, Kanashimi-chan. Far too much about me. You assume," she lifted a finger, "that it is I who am in need of help." Smiling, Kami leaned forward on the windowsill, eyes turned up to the sea of clouds above them. "You seem to think I don't know you're not supposed to be here."

_She's always behaved as though she didn't know! What is she hiding?_

__"Kami-chan," Ami began, but was silenced when Kami suddenly touched her temple, a look of confusion crossing her tiny features as she winced.

"Ah, forgive me. Amaterasu-sama shines too brightly for me to look into her face." Kami rubbed her eyes and then the back of her head. "Gomen ne, Kanashimi-chan." Kami began to step away from the window, but her foot caught on the tatami, and she stumbled a step.

Ami took her arm and led her away. "If there is something about that is trying to hurt you, please, Kami-chan, you must tell me."

"All demons do not attack from without," came soft words, and Kami's voice was distant, as though speaking from very far away. She suddenly blinked as Ami set her back upon a pillow, and knelt beside her, trying to see if her forehead was warm. "Ah, gomen, I sound silly. I am glad to have you here to help me, if there was an attack such as that you worry about." Kami patted Ami's hand and then turned back to her fragrances. "I would be there for you, if I could. You seem to need the strength to fight a demon in your heart. Did you know, that if you name a thing, you give it a limit? I name my demons. You...." Kami looked at Ami thoughtfully, turning her head back. "Your demon is named....named...." Kami stuttered, then began to blink rapidly. "Kanashimi-chan," she whispered softly. "Don't move...."

Ami froze as Kami's eyes locked on something behind her shoulders. _Oh god, its begun. An attack. This time, I'll protect you, by myself...._

__"The most dangerous demons gaze into your heart, and eat your dreams from within...."

Her voice had become a shattered sound, and when Ami looked into her eyes, they grew paler, dim and white, and the ravens of thought crowed in Ami's mind, clawing their way to the surface, becoming a bitter mirror of sadness, reflecting her feelings of helplessness. 

Though she reached for Kami's hands, they faded away from her, becoming as tangible as the mists that flow in the corridors of time. Tiny pinpricks of light filled her vision, not so unlike the fireflies that had danced before, the flames that rolled on the tides of her vision. 

And then she was set free of the dream, and found herself in room, surrounded by the things that made her feel safe. 

Ami made breakfast for herself, scrambled eggs and a piece of toast with grape jelly. Her mother was gone, off to work earlier. Fidgeting, Ami prowled the apartment, unsure if there was something wrong. _There was something there! I think. I didn't get to see. Damn, what keeps me from staying long enough to figure things out? I ask her, and she evades it. Then I don't get a second chance. It's almost deliberate. She wouldn't try to stop me on purpose, would she? No, that wouldn't make any sense! _Ami got dressed, tried to read. There was no concentration. She tried to study. The ink on the page blurred into a swell of black type. 

_Argh! I can't take this anymore!_

__Across Tokyo, a phone rang. 

"Is Usagi there?"

"Yeah, hang on," Shingo's bored voice told her. "_Usagi! Phone!_" She heard him shouting up the stairs, his voice distant through the receiver. Pacing, Ami chewed her lip, pressing the phone to her ear. 

"Hello?" Usagi's voice came over the end, tinny through the phone lines. 

"Hi, Usagi-chan."

"Ami-chan?" Usagi sounded a little surprised, since Ami rarely called just to talk. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh, fine. I just don't have anything to do," suddenly, Ami was seized with the unexpected desire to do something. "...so I rented _'Princess Mononoke.'_ I wanted to know if you and everyone wanted to come over to watch it."

There was a long pause at the other end of the line. 

_You know, I think this is the first time I ever invited anyone to my apartment, just to sit around and talk or watch a movie. Much less the whole of the senshi. She's thinking there's something wrong, either that, or that I'm having a surprise party for her or something. And since it's not her birthday, she'll dismiss that idea. _

__"Sure, Ami-chan!" Usagi's voice came enthusiastically over the other end. Having recovered from the slight shock, the Moon Princess's usual exuberance took control. "Should I bring Chibi-Usa too?"

"Sure. And some food. Chips or something."

"Great! I'll be over in ten-"

"An hour, Usagi-chan. I need to call everyone else, too."

"Oh yeah. Okay! An hour! Ja ne!"

There was a click, and dial tone. 

_Okay, hopefully that's enough time to run to the video store and get the movie. And call everyone else. _

_ _

__

__Having an apartment full of talkative off-duty senshi didn't help, but being able to watch the movie distracted Ami a little. And sometimes the chatter did too. Minako decided that Rei apparently needed a new hairdo, and ended up doing some kind of weird youma-type thing that was piled up onto her head in a completely unrealistic gravity-defying style. Rei retaliated by getting ahold of Minako's red bow, and not letting her have it back, causing them to chase each other all over the apartment, screaming the whole time. 

They watched the movie, and apparently Ashitaka looks like sempai. 

Dr. Mizuno could hardly believe the sight of so many girls hanging around their living room when she got home that evening. Ami was quietly sitting on the sofa, smiling and laughing quietly with Makoto, who was still babbling about Ashitaka, and wondering who the actor was. 

"Ami-chan?" 

"Mom?" Ami stood, and went to help her mother bring in her briefcase and shed her coat. 

"What is all this?" She gestured to the sprawled out senshi. 

"Dr. Mizuno-san!" Usagi leapt up, shouting cheerfully and waving. "Hi!"

Ami's mother smiled back, shaking her head. "Hello, Usagi-san. How many of your friends do you have in there, Ami-chan?"

"All of them, I think."

She smiled weakly, and Ami noticed how tired she looked, dark half moons under her eyes, which were slightly red. "That's good, Ami-chan. I'm glad you have your friends over. It's nice to meet you all." Dr. Mizuno greeted the girls. Seeing Chibi-Usa, she blinked. "My, Usagi, if you were a few years older, I would swear she was your daughter." 

Usagi went red in the face, and Chibi-Usa laughed a little. The other girls said their hellos, and Dr. Mizuno told Ami she was going to get some sleep. 

"Bad day?"

Her mother sighed and nodded. "Meetings, along with the usual. It's all right...."

"Then maybe we'd better go," Rei commented, tugging the youma hairdo out, letting it return to its usual black curtain. "We don't want to keep you up."

"No, no, that's fine-"

"Yeah," Minako agreed. "We've been here since before lunch."

"Can we finish the chips first?" Usagi asked.

"No!" Rei snapped.

"Usagi, Ikuko-mama is making cake for after dinner tonight," Chibi-Usa reminded her. 

Usagi blinked, torn between the chips, which were before her, and the promise of cake. At long last, she gave in, with a look of determination. "Shingo is not getting half this time! And neither are you, Chibi-Usa-chan!"

Chibi-Usa got a crafty, slightly too pink-sugar look on her face. 

"Oh, no you won't!"

Chibi-Usa grinned. 

Usagi began to screech, and Rei had to drag her out along with the rest of them. 

The room seemed very empty when they had all left, and Ami began to pick up the pieces of silverware they had left in their wake. "No, Mom, I have it...." Ami protested as her mother began to help her in her collection. "Really. Go get some sleep. You look like you need it."

In reality, Dr. Mizuno was too tired to argue, so with a sigh, she took the plates she had assembled into the kitchen, then headed off to the bathroom. It was early, but it was still that kind of day. Ami sighed, and went about the business of making dinner for them, which passed quietly into the oncoming evening. The darkness wrapped around their home, settling in until burned away by the brightness of the dawn. 

_There is a word for this sensation, and I do not like it. Foreboding. The night hangs heavily, and it forebodes the darkness. I wonder if I place too much worry and wonder on the depths of tonight. There is no moon, for Selene is renewing herself by hiding away. Soon she will be reborn. Tomorrow night, the moon will glow off the waters in the bay once more. But tonight, the darkness is at its greatest depth. Maybe then, in the this night without stars, the darkness will at last attack, and I may see its face. It's not good to keep holding out like this. We always knew so quickly before. This demon is different. I can't even see its face. And how do you fight what you cannot see?_

Hm..that chapter was a little shorter than usual, ne? Hope you don't mind…things start going fast from here…hang on…

Ja ne!

-Queen


	6. Sorrow, Whose Tears Cry the River

# The Bloom of the Mountain Cherry

_Chapter 3- Sorrow, Whose Tears Cry the River_

My own life is so tenuous I hardly give it a thought, yet to know the demise of another is piercingly sad.

-Murasaki Shikibu

The turning of the tide of sleep was vastly different in this night. Used to the gentle vision blurring and soft smells that accompanied her to Kami's world, the feeling of being ripped apart from within forced a scream into her throat, which was swiftly joined by the keening of other women, who tore at their hair. Eyes impossibly close to the screen she stood before, Ami spun, finding herself in a shuttered portion of a room, several serving women sitting on the floor just below her. They wailed and cringed, high keening noises coming from them as though in pain. 

"Kami-chan?" Ami spun around, in search of her friend. The women paid no attention to her, and she tried to step between them, to seek out Kami. 

"Demons!" One of the women sobbed, comforted by the shoulder of another. 

_Demons? No! Please, please, I can't be too late...._

Ami stumbled in her haste, tripping over the skirts of another woman. "Excuse me, please, where is..." _I don't even know her true name...._"the lady of the house? A girl, about my-" Ami stopped, then waved a hand before the eyes of the woman, who looked through her. _They can't see me...._

There was a screen separating the wailing women from the rest of the room, lilies with tiny fireflies dancing around them decorating it. A soft orange glow from a candle flickered on the screen's opposite side, causing the black silhouettes to dance. Other shadows moved before it, human bodies of different sizes and shapes. Casting a glance swiftly, Ami judged that it was nearing evening, by the narrow slats of light that cut across the floor through the closed window. From the other side of the screen, Ami heard a chant go up, a sharp, staccato mantra that cut into the air. 

Edging her way past the moaning women, she slid herself around the separating screen, and what she saw made her heart nearly stop.

_They got her._

In the room's center, Kami lay on a futon, her black hair undone from its loops, swimming out around her head in snaking curls. She was pale, very pale, her skin nearly transcluscent and flecked with perspiration, heavy bangs matted to her forehead, thin blue veins visible under her eyelids. A blanket had been placed over her, and one of her hands peeked out from under it. 

An old priest, grizzled, had begun this chant, holding a clove-scented fan. There was a girl, young, maybe eleven or twelve, who sat upon a dais in the front of the room. She was thin and slightly dirty, with rumpled hair and empty eyes. Her orange gown and and white pants stood in stark contrast with her black hair. There was the faint smell of poppy seed burning, hanging sweetly in the air. As the priest chanted, she began to shake, her body writhing into convulsions as the priest drove out the demon that had possessed Kami. 

In the corner, an elderly, white haired man sat, deep pockets of flesh around what would have been twinkling eyes. Kami's father, Ami believed, since he sat wrapped in a shawl, though the evening was not so cold. It was the way of things, in such a period without science, to believe that illness was the work of a demon in possession of the person's spirit. The priest would banish it, attempt to identify it. 

_What demon has done this to you?_

Ami knelt down beside her friend, taking up her thin hand. It was clammy, and shook with chills. Checking her pulse, it was rapid. Blinking, Ami brushed back the hair from Kami's forehead, and placed a hand there. 

_She's burning up._

Kami's breaths were short and sharp, and there was a scream from the medium. The goal of the priest was to drive the demon out of Kami, and into the girl for banishment. 

_She's not possessed, she's sick... But they don't realize that. If her fever doesn't come down soon, she'll die._

Kami's blood was filled with flames, her body's attempt to burn out the sickness that had invaded in the damp, warm summer months when illness spread through the lands like the plague it was. But now the heat was burning her from within, and she was shaking and pale. 

_Gods, she's dehydrated! Why aren't they doing anything for her?_

The wails of the medium grew more insistent, and as the serving women waited, their anxiety grew, filling the air with the sounds of groans and half-smothered screams. The chant grew louder, as the priest called for the demon to abandon its host. 

_They don't understand!_

Ami moved away from Kami, and went to kneel before her father, who was watching distantly through his own sick eyes. Pleading, she tried to catch his attention. "She's sick! She needs water, and a doctor!" There was no response, and Ami found herself screaming, hoping that maybe if her words were loud enough, they would pierce whatever barrier stood between them. "Do something! Get a doctor! A healer! Please!"

There was only stillness. 

She spun away, running to the priest, trying to grab at his clothes to catch his attention, but as he moved about the room, her hands fell into only empty air, and grasped at nothing. The screams intensified from the medium, as the demon began its transfer from one host to another. 

Ami tried to slap Kami's face. "Wake up!" Kami merely stirred in her deep sleep. 

_All this time, I thought it a monster. Unless this is the monster. None of this makes sense. None of it. Why? Why am I here? Kami! Don't die! Please don't die! If her fever does not break, she will die of it!_

The screams of the medium grew frenzied as she thrashed on the dais. 

_Cold._

From the around the room, the walls shuddered as wind raced around them. In the wails of the women, this set them to a greater pitch, frightened by the reaction of the world outside. 

_Cold._

From within her, Ami summoned the magic that she was given, the deep currents of water that she claimed asher power. Kami's face was placed between her long hands, Ami's fingertips on her temples.

_Cold._

The evening had taken upon itself a freezing wind, which whipped the clouds in the sky into a frenzy. Black clouds, heavily laden with rain, came rolling out onto the horizon, a whirlpool of mist in the sky. The terror of the sudden blackness and wild weather swept the world around them into a state of shock, which was shattered when the lightning in the sky came crashing down around them, splitting the willow tree that graced the courtyard. Such a terrifying event broke the ghastly stillness of the place, and men could be heard outside, working their way to the flaming tree with buckets, hoping to douse the flames before they set the mansion on fire. 

_Cold._

Into Kami's blood flowed blue whitewater, cold and clear, pure energy. Though the world around them had broken into a mad dance, the world within the walls still existed in the exorcism, multiple keens screaming over and into the wind. 

_Cold!_

The windows were blown out, rains whipping into the room, soaking those who were within, and with a gasp, Kami's eyes were flung open, rolling, as her lungs gasped for air as there was a final scream. Then there was silence, and Kami's body went limp in Ami's hands. 

The sound of her scream was a spear of ice into the chill air, and she tumbled from the warm safety of her bed. Eyes blinded to any light, she fumbled out of habit for the door, wanting air, wanting space. Only a few steps into the living room of her apartment, Ami collapsed onto the floor, and another pent up scream escaped. Moments later, she heard the scurrying footsteps of her mother, and a set of arms were wrapped with familiar ease around her shoulders. 

Then she cried until her mother's sleeves were soaked with tears.

Ami didn't go to school that day. 

There was too much grief, for the death of a girl she barely knew. A girl, whose name she didn't even know, but who she felt was her sister. There was no sleep for her then, and no way to escape what she feared. 

_She summoned me. And I failed her, as well. She summoned me, and I stupidly thought it was a monster, some enemy to face. I let her die. I should have looked for signs of disease, sickness, not monsters. Stupid! Stupid! Can't I do anything right? I poured my energy into her, and I failed, again and again. Stupid!_

Her mother had tried to call off work, but when Ami had feigned sleep, she had relented, and had gone to help her patients. Ami had said nothing of her dreams, only that they were nightmares that had seemed too real. She wasn't ready to share it. She wouldn't speak of it again. Ever. 

The looking glass in her room reflected a face that was tired and blotchy, speckled from the tears that had welled up in her eyes. She sat before the mirror, thinking maybe she could see something. See what, exactly, she didn't know, and it didn't really matter. She would know when she saw it. And still, she found nothing. Her head lowered as did her gaze, falling to the small object that rested between her hands. The narrow henshin pen was lengthwise from her, the star end of it pointed away. It was her Star Power henshin pen, which she no longer needed. She had kept it, even though she now had her Crystal, which was so much stronger. Ami blinked once, and picked it up, turning it over and watching it, almost as though it could give her an answer. 

_I failed. Again and again, I fail. It's the little things. Not being a second faster. Not being a little stronger. Push Usagi-chan out of the way. Mamoru won't be there every time. He can't be. No one's completely perfect. Pour energy into Kami. I don't know anything about her. Did she pull me into the past? Does Pluto allow such things? Kami, who are you and what did you want with me? I'm so sorry. I can't ever seem to be what I need to be. Not to others, not to myself. I can't stop being a senshi. My Mercury Crystal is in my heart, my soul. I cannot cut it out. I don't want to. I want...I want what you wanted, Kami-chan. To live above the clouds. Does that make me selfish? To wish to be a part of something so important? To feel like I'm worth something?_

Ami stood up, the henshin pen still in her hands, and walked to the window. She opened it, and pushed her head outside, feeling the salty sea breeze off the bay in the distance, which sent her hair eddying around her face. She looked down. Her apartment was several stories up, and the drop to the concrete was dizzying. 

_It would take only a moment, for the Silence to come._

Usagi and Minako came knocking on the door. Well, actually, they rang the doorbell repeatedly, by pressing the button down until Ami was so irritated by it that she finally roused herself out of her apathy, shut the window, stuffed her feet into slippers, grabbed a robe and shuffled to the door. After the nightmare of the night, she felt so empty she was hollow, as though every bit of energy in her had been drained away, leaving only an empty shell. There was no sleep, and she did not wish for it. It would have been simple, to have asked her mother for some sleeping pills, which would create a nice, drugged stupor. 

_It's my own fault. My punishment for being such a coward as not to finish things. _

"Yes?" Ami asked as she opened the door to see the two blondes. Expressions of worry were written clearly across their faces.

"Ami-chan? Can we come in?" Usagi asked, her voice quiet for once. 

_They won't leave. What does it matter?_

She silently stood aside, and the pretty soldiers of love and justice filed into the room, settling themselves on the couch, their identical uniforms and expressions making them look more like twins than usual. 

Minako spoke first. "Are you feeling okay? Mako-chan said she'll cook you something if you're sick."

"I'm fine, Minako-chan. Just worn out."

They looked disbelieving. 

"Rei-chan would have come, but she had to go help her grandfather," Usagi began, "and Mako-chan...she wanted to, but-"

"It's okay, Usagi-chan. You didn't need to come."

They looked at each other, and then at Ami. Their blue haired friend was haggard, her hair messy, robe hanging over a rumpled nightgown. She was pale, and her eyes were puffy and red. 

"Ami-chan, you can tell us if there's something wrong," Minako told her, looking at Ami, who settled herself on a chair across from the coffee table. "The five of us, six...ten," Minako looked a little sheepish as she mentally tallied up the senshi of their solar system, Inners, Outers, and those from the future. "...any of us. We've been through so much together. You know we're here if you need-"

"I'm fine, Minako-chan. Really." _They won't go away until they have some explanation. _"Last night, I was brought word that...an old friend of mine just died."

The faces of the two other senshi altered subtly, and Ami knew that was the explanation they wanted. Some reason to think that simple, reliable, brainy Ami was missing school, a shocking thing for her. 

"I didn't think you had any fr-" Usagi started, but was slammed in the stomach by Minako before the whole sentence was finished. 

"What she means is," Minako corrected Usagi, who was rubbing her stomach and giving Minako a death glare. "We didn't know you were really close to anyone other than we senshi..." Minako stumbled a little, hesitating. "That didn't come out very well either. I mean, Usagi has Luna, and Naru-chan too, not to mention Mamoru. I have Artemis, and-"

Ami was shaking her head, the waves of her hair falling against her cheeks. "It's okay, Minako-chan, really. I understand."

_I always understand, don't I?_

"We're just worried about you. What was her..." Usagi paused. "It was a girl?"

Ami nodded.

"What was her name?"

"I called her Kami."

Usagi got up and gave Ami a hug. "We'll come to the funeral with you. Okay?"

"There is no funeral."

They blinked at her. 

"No funeral?" Minako looked confused, then her face softened with pity. "You got word too late?"

Ami just clutched the folds of her robe in her hands, her knuckles turning white as she rolled the fabric in her hands, letting Minako think what she wanted. 

Minako and Usagi stayed a bit longer, trying to cheer Ami up. And as it was with the two girls, their happy talking about their lives eventually got Ami to smile, especially when Minako tried to tell Ami that life was like a box of kleenex, and she didn't know what she was going to get. Though that time, Ami suspected that Minako did it on purpose, getting the saying wrong, just so Ami could correct her. When they left, Ami felt a little better. She had also noticed, that despite the wrapping on Usagi's wrist, the black eye was now nothing more than a memory, healing swiftly. 

And since she was feeling better, Ami tried to read, settling herself down on the couch, _'The Tale of Genji'_ in her lap, the stained glass reading lamp casting a mosaic of pretty colors onto the walls. And as it was when a sleep-deprived person tries to read in a quiet home, her eyes closed, and the mosaic became a living waltz of light....

The room was bare of any furnishing, save a single pillow, where a woman sat in a square of brightness, her hair shorn at the ends, cutting off just at the shoulder. Still, her robes were colored, not yet the ash grey clothing of one who has taken the vows of a nun, though she sat slumped and seemed sad. The woman's back was turned, and with a distant feeling, Ami reached out her hand, placing it on the woman's shoulder, looking down. The head turned,and blind eyes looked up to meet hers, the lavender faded, replaced with a hazy white. 

"Kanashimi-chan?"

Then the mosaic of light that had brought her there enveloped her again, and her eyes opened to see the furrowed brows of her mother. 

"Ami-chan?" Dr. Mizuno asked, when her daughter grabbed her arms in shock, a timid look of hope beginning to spread on her face.

_She's not dead._

Eluding her, sleep hovered on the peripherals of her vision, cruelly teasing. If she turned her head quickly enough, sometimes she believed that she could see the glitters of light that came with the transition to Kami's world. _I still have a chance. She's not dead. But a chance to do what? If she's well, then everything's solved. It was so selfish of me, to think that I could do this alone. But I still feel like there is something that I am missing. If Kami is well, then is everything all right? Am I just deluding myself? _

From outside her room, the moon glowed, a tiny sliver of new birth in the cloak of the night. It was a delicate slipper, with the grace of a ballet dancer's pointed toe. And in the quiet, dim light of the moon, a _sakura _petal floated past her window, followed by another, and another. And it seemed to her that a person ghosted on the currents of wind, slipping into the shadows of her room and moving through the shades that the dresser, bookcase, or desk cast. And the figure approached, unseen, since the soldier of water had closed her eyes at last, and had drifted into the haze of sleep.

She floated wide in the space, the layers of _Whitewater_ drifting loosely around her, as the stars strained in their brightness. 

_Where am I? What place is this?_

Laughter turned her head, and she saw Kami, standing beside her, though in her room, existing in the shadows. "You wonder far too much, Kanashimi-chan. Come, it's time you see my sadness, and why I fear for your sorrows." She extended her pale hand, and Ami took it, finding herself suddenly alone in the darkness of a moonless night. 

There was rain, and much of it. It pounded down on her head and shoulders, the skies letting loose their pent up tears, letting the earth soak up what the clouds could no longer hold. Ami hugged herself, for the water was cold, and it bled through her the layered robes she wore. Dark blue hair ran slick black as she tried to see through flashes of lightning what Kami had brought her to see. Her teeth began to chatter with cold, and she heard the rushing of water. She turned slightly, but froze as her foot began to slide. She stood on rock, and it was slick with the rainwater that was pounding down. She withdrew a step, for the river below rushed high. 

"Look there," Kami whispered, pointing, and Ami was at first startled to see the girl there with her. But she followed the length of arm, looking up to the mansion. "See?"

As it is in dreams, nothing seemed to be as it was. With unreal clarity, Ami witnessed Kami, her eyes sightless, crawl uneasily along the floor of her room, slide open the shoji door, and shut it again as the rain masked her sounds. In the wind, the sound of a _furin_ could be heard, ringing, the one that hung by Kami's door. Her shorn hair pasted itself to her head, and dripped down as she wobbled to her feet, took several steps, then careened off the path. Ami started forward, wishing to rush to help her, but the Kami that stood with her took her wrist, preventing it. 

Ami looked at the one who held her and, and despite her own chill and wet, Kami remained dry, her long hair uncut, hanging around her feet in a black sweep of waves, the loops still behind her head. She still wore _Chrysanthemum Rain, _and her eyes were still pale lavender. 

A thought occurred to Ami. 

_No._

As the Kami who was blind stumbled her way down the path, Ami felt herself drawing away from the one she stood beside. Kami's desperate stumbling run would have been comical to one with a twisted sense of humor. The blind girl continued to trip her way along, falling and muddying herself in the thickening dirt, grasses clinging to her robes as she felt her way forward, a hand out for balance and warning. Ami knew she was crying. 

_Someday, she wished to live above the clouds._

Again, Kami fell, this time hitting a rock, and laying still for a moment before she brought herself to her knees. She felt her way up again, and she desperately worked her way along the narrow path that she and Ami had traveled only a dream or two before. 

_I do not know what illness struck her, but it left her without vision, both sight and dream. _

It was a path Kami knew well, and she had always believed she could walk it blindfolded, for it led to her favorite place by the willow over the river. The river that was rising in the rain, and she now did walk it blindly, though without anything covering her eyes. 

_How can one who cannot see live among the clouds?_

Kami at last grasped a low branch of the willow tree, her small fingers clasping tightly around it.

_Without sight, how can she play the koto?_

Kami appeared to be looking at the river that was sweeping its way towards her, and she dropped to her knees, edging closer to the steep bank that drew closer to its edge. She knelt on the rock now. 

_Without sight, how can she paint the lovely letters of poetry?_

She placed a hand into the water, and the icy roaring waters stung it, forcing her to snap it back as her skin was bitten.

_Without any of these things, how can she live?_

Kami staggered to her feet, holding _Chrysanthemum Rain _tightly about her. She tilted her head up to face the sky, and for a moment there was lightning, illuminating the earth around them. And when a second strike broke down across the river, its thunder drumming in Ami's ears, Kami stood no longer on the riverbank. 

Her vision was filled with blackness, and as she tried to reach out, she felt her nails scrape along the rocks that surrounded her. Sight was gone, but other senses were sharpened, the screams of the river drowned her ears in chaos, and pain broke her body as it crashed between the stones, tangling in the weeds. Though she tried, Ami could not breathe, and her lungs filled with water, smothering her even as Kami was smothered. 

_Kami, I think I understand now._

The roaring of the waters covered her.

_You gave up._

She felt her body being carried more quietly along, tumbling slowly in the water.

_You gave up, and you're showing me why. You were never haunted by a ghost. You were never in danger of anything. It was me. All this time, it was me. I wanted to protect you. But in reality, you are protecting me. From myself, isn't it? _

She came to a drifting stop in the water, and Ami felt herself tangled in the reeds, her hair floating in a halo about her head. And at the same time, she was Kami, her hair long and entwined in the broken reeds, lying in the congestion that the river had deposited downstream, her body broken and tangled, her eyes closed even though she still saw. 

_How long ago this happened to you, Kami-chan. How long have you waited for me, or someone like me? I can feel hands now. They found you, didn't they, Kami? Found you and took you back, buried you and gave you a funeral. I can see them, a fisherman, looking to earn his bread, shouting up at others. They lifted you out of the water. You look like a child, Kami-chan, so doll like, since you are so delicate. _

Air returned to her, and Ami breathed again. 

They sat, much as they did when they met, under the willow tree, in a surreal brightness. Though this tree was a mountain cherry, and its blossoms white and falling. Water dribbled over the stones in the river, calm and restful, peaceful rather than wrathful. Ami looked at the brush she held in her hand, and then took up a piece of paper while Kami picked up her inkstone, rolling it. She smiled at Ami, and shook her head. "You look as though you are unsure if you dream or not, Kanashimi-chan."

"This is still a dream."

Kami laughed. "Yes, I suppose, though this is where I exist now."

"Can you move into others dreams? Like mine?"

Kami paused, uncertain, and loaded her brush with ink, gently tracing the characters of kanji onto the reused paper. "I don't know."

Ami looked at Kami, and truly wanted to know.

"Why?" 

"The most dangerous demons are the ones we create for ourselves. They cannot be fought with weapons, magical or technical. They must be fought in other ways. There are so many dark dreams, in this time."

Ami set down her brush, and looked at the calligraphy Kami had painted on her paper. "It's lovely, Kami-chan."

"Arigatou, Kanashimi-chan. Though I hope I will not have to call you that anymore."

"I don't think you will, but I think it would be wrong if you didn't."

"You will live above the clouds for me? Record all the beautiful things you see? I never did get to see any of it. I would like to know what a crystal palace would look like." She painted another stroke on the paper, and the _sakura_ from above obscured it with a petal. They fell from above, and the sunlight streamed through the branches overhead, causing Ami to lift a hand over her eyes to dim the brightness of the world. 

"Ja ne, Kami-chan," Ami told her, and Kami smiled as Ami's eyes opened to the dawn of a new day, and this time, the girl who dreamed did not bury her face.


	7. Epilogue

Epilogue-

Usagi linked her arm through Ami's and kept her paper hidden behind her back, refusing to let her curious friend see the score she had earned on the social studies test. The lunch bell had rung, and students poured out into the hallways, eager for the midday break from scholastic servitude. Heading out to eat, Ami and Usagi met up with Minako and Makoto, who were angling for one of the student-free areas under a shady tree. Somewhat cooler there than under the blazing sunlight, the three faced Usagi, lunches at their knees. 

"Okay, Usagi-chan," Makoto said, folding her arms. "Out with it."

Usagi hesitated, pretending as though she had to choke back tears. She took a deep breath, then whipped out the test paper, which was marked with a big, fat red ninety percent at the top. Makoto and Minako screamed at once, while Usagi laughed hysterically. It seemed a miracle had occurred in Juuban that day. Usagi had not only passed, but had aced it. Ami laughed at her friends, who were congratulating Usagi, even going so far as to tell her that Rei would just die when she saw it. 

"This calls for a celebration!" Makoto decided, producing her lunchbox. She opened it, and pulled out her homemade rice balls. "Rice balls for everyone!" There were four in the box, and Ami suspected that she would have been sharing anyway. But if anything, Usagi's surprise and happiness made it all taste even better. 

Still laughing quietly, Ami settled in to listen to the usual chatter of the Inner senshi on lunch break, which was periodically broken by Usagi talking with her mouth full. 

Out of her bookbag, Ami slipped '_The Tale of Genji._' With the worries of the last few days, or rather nights, she had not had as much time to read as she had wished. '_Genji'_ was a long book, and she wanted to get it back to Setsuna over the weekend. Opening it as she shook her head at a bad joke told by Minako, her hand brushed aside the bookmark of folded paper. Hesitating, she unfolded it, hearing the way the paper crackled as she did so. Seeing it, she read,

'Yo no naka wo nani nagekamashi yamazakura hana miru hodo no kokoro narisheba'

Written in her own hand. Ami had placed the quote there, thinking it apt since she read a book by the same author. Below it, she had scribbled the translation Setsuna had given her last week. 

'Why do we suffer so in the world? Just regard life as the short bloom of the mountain cherry.'

_Kami told me that day was not a day to write sad things. And at first, I did believe this poem to be very sad. A poem about the shortness of life. And maybe it is short. But even at the same time, it is very beautiful, blooming. It was my own fears that held me back, and that was what made me weak. It was the same for Kami, not being able to fulfill her dream. She didn't want me to give up mine, simply because I had lost sight of my dream, and lost confidence in myself. I look up at my friends now, Usagi-chan, Mako-chan, Minako-chan, and I know that Rei-chan and the others are out there as well. I look at them, and I know I am strong, not because of them, but for them. And that is where my strength must lie. Arigatou, Kami-chan, whoever you are. The source of my sorrow was myself._

Well…how was it? ^^; Like it? Hate it? I suppose I should say, that much of the knowledge in this story is from a book called '_The Tale of Murasaki_' by Liza Dalby. All the translations, Japanese and English, of the _waka_ are from this book. If you've liked this fic, I highly recommend it. I wouldn't have been able to write _'Bloom'_ without it.

Also, I refer to the book '_The Tale of Genji'_ throughout the fic…. '_The Tale of Genji_' (or, in Japanese, '_Genji Monogatari' _) is an 11th century novel, written by Lady Murasaki Shikibu. It is believed to be the first of its genre. So yes, it's a real book, and a classic of prose literature. ^_~

One last thing. After having written _'Bloom'_ I'm going back to it…I feel the need to 'rescue' Kami…I just like her too much to let her story end like that! (I hope you agree with me ^^;) So, keep an eye out for another fic by me, called '_The Weaver of Dreams'_ which I'm writing right now. 

And _thank you so much_ to everyone who's reviewed. It really means a lot to me, and keeps me writing. Arigatou. If you have any questions or comments, you're always free to email. 

So, ja ne until next storytime.

-Queen


End file.
